..... HOLY

Took me 3 hours to do the laundry ....

OMG ~

Ok i need a break now ....

Oh Simone too has return from Japan ... NICE ! i tried the chewing gum she got from there ... waaa very nice packaging ... and the ciggs she got from there WOO ... nice scent ...

Oh i went to NTU this morning to get my medical stuff done ... ITS A NEW BEGINNING SOON ... Zhiyang also manage to get an offer from NTU ... now he choosing between SMU and NTU ... i think NUS is going to offer him a place too ...

What was i thinking ......

Argh ... Jiathi had already return to her home country ... so whose going to do all the laundry ???

Me ...~~~

Guess what i just destroyed two of my shirts .... One from Nike ... One from Topshop ... why ? Because i forgot to seperate the laundry !!! ... Both were whites and they ended up with colours after a wash ...

My army uniforms and all the army stuff can be wash together ... but T_T i forgot about the normal clothing ...they can't be mixed .... i better take extra care next time ... until the new maid arrives ... i'll be doing most of the household chores i guess ... ahhh ... my shirts ... ~

Back Home ... ... With many changes ^^

I'm back ...~ But my house maid is leaving tomorrow ...

Sister just came back from Pattaya too ... except that hers was a short trip away from home ...

Mum and Dad was quite surprised to see me back home at 4 am ... i'm rather tired though but its nice to see them again ... wanted to do some laundry but i guess i leave it till tomorrow ...

So hows Taiwan ? ... I must say ... the ladies there in majority ... quite pretty and sweet looking ...

Ha!!! You folks must be thinking ... what the hell .... you came back after 30++ days just to say the ladies over there are pretty ?

Wait till i get the photos first ok ^^ i never brought my camera there so instead of using words to describe the 30++ days ... i try to get some pictures to do the talking ....

I still miss home .... all the while i wanted to come back badly ...

Oh i manage to clock a new record 9 days no shower ! lol ... the field exercise stretched too long .... some of the guys who went out earlier broke my record ... 10 days no shower !!! Just imagine -_- |||

Ok enough for now ... i need to sleep ... many things to attend to tomorrow :P

Byeeee .... ....

First of all ... thanks for reading my blog .... to all those who does lol ...

and ... Ok byebye ^^ I'm off to taiwan .... for training ... last hurdle before i ORD ya !!!

I see many people stop blogging .... see many people stop after a while ... maybe writing your thoughts online isn't so good afterall ... maybe ... just maybe

So put that aside ... i'm not sure if i will come back in one piece lol ... but i hope so la ... later one bird crash into the bunk ... then its byebye to me LOL ...

Ya ... so mm... i met up with this very very important person few days back ... and i must say ... it was very very comfortable to talk with her ... she still got that smile ... that "shuddup~" ... still its her ^^ someone who can sense my emotion well ... i have to thank the heaven for letting me know her ahaha ... simone is going to be angry lol .... but nevermind ... she know who i refering to and YES YOU probably know who u are ... so don't smile smile there ....

What amazed me most is ... she has learn a lot ... in a way i'm glad she does ... afterall its good for her in the long run ... oh and ya ... you said don't miss you ahaha ... i haven't tell you this ... yes i will miss you ^^ ... i will look up to the sky like you told me ... but by now you should know ... i prefer the night sky more than anything ... total opposite from you ^^ ...

mmm .. .. ... . sia ting ting !!!! ello ello ~~~ when i come back i will ask you out first ^^ ....

and and ... one last thing ....

Life is really about choices .... perspective ( ya you taught me that ) .... and having a big heart for everything .~

Bye people i will be back on May~ ...

Sky of love~ ( Listening Heart )

^^ I just watched Koizora ( Sky Of Love ) with Py~ Nice !!! I heard from her that its a novel based on a true story ... catch it while the cinema is still showing it ok ! If you got boyfriend or girlfriend i think it would even be better ... but if you are still single like me lol just catch it anyway ... the girls sitting beside me all cried ... i've seen shows which are more touching that this but oh well ^^".

So ... After the movie ... we went for dinner and talk for a bit before we head home ...

Then something pop into my head ... maybe its the movie ... maybe its the conversation i had with py ... maybe all along i wanted to type this ... finally i had the mood to write this haha ...

Say ... we all have the ability to listen isn't it ... yet do you all think that everyone is making use of our ears carefully ?

I'm talking about listening to people when they need you to ... without judging or trying to give them unthoughtful advices ...

I feel ... that many people wants to be heard ... but not many are willing to listen ... why ? Selfish ? ... I believe that everyone should learn how to listen to one another without saying a word ... yes just sitting there quietly listening to someone else talk ... The more you listen , the more you learn about the other person's feeling . Relationships is one which requires a lot of listening but very often it isn't balanced ... there is always one party which listens most of the time and one which talks the most of the time ... the one who listens most of the time too has feelings don't you agree ? ... without being heard , feelings get suppressed causing unwanted resentment towards the other .

Do you all agree ? At certain times you wish someone could just listen to you but you couldn't find that person ... then you wonder who really cares about you .. sometimes certain group of people who only wants to be heard should really do some soul searching ... shouldn't they listen with an open heart too ?

Sometimes its just that simple to nurse someone's trouble heart ... sit beside them and just listen .... there is no need for comments .... no need for advices .... nothing .... listening to them is a very strong indication to people that you care ... and that i believe is what people are truly seeking for when they are looking for someone to listen to them

Mum just held my hand and listen to me when i cried years back ... nothing else ... and that was enough ...

When a baby cries, you hold them close to you and they would stop crying ...
When a heart is crying out ... listen to them ....

mm . . . . kenny has return ....

I bet simone know this first ... lol

well~ ^^ he came back after 6 months plus ... was chatting halfway with him when he suddenly told me he knew its raining almost everyday here ... and then he goes " because i'm back !!! " lol so we met up in the night for dinner ^^ ...

one day he would get a ring for someone who ask for a ring last night

^^ alright ... Nigel became a physical trainer trainee ^^ good luck to you dude !

I'm going back to school soon !!!! ^^ can't wait ...

Oh did i mention it ? I'm going to go for bike licence after i return from taiwan ... easy travelling to school ... i'm still thinking, should i stay in the hostel there ? ... Sis is trying every means to stay there forever lol~ ... too much hunks and babes there lol~ ... ^^

mm ....

i still remember you , would love to see your smile once more ... i think i miss you ~

Short Breather ...

Yay ... a short breather before i go taiwan ... heng chun camp i heard ... and also mei ling camp .... i don't care the condition ... i've been through a lot of worse living condition so as long as there is a bed ! it is good enough .

Soon ... the men together with me will be walking towards our own path in life ... somehow its a bit sad ... when everything seems so impossible ... we would just endure through it together ... no matter how steep the knoll seems we would help one another to reach the top ... ... this kind of bond ... you can't find it if you just slack around in school ... work ... so i guess i would say being an nsf is really an enjoyable experience ... not that the training is easy or the outfield is extremely comfortable ... its the camaraderie ... its really about the guy who walks beside you ... i know its hard for some to experience this ... but i'm glad i did not "smoke" my way through ^^

Mmm . . . I was telling this guy who is in my section ... he got some BGR problem ...don't let go so easily without trying ... love won't come knocking on your door so many times ... i still believe we all have a lot to learn about loving one another ... its a growing thing ... love can be forever ... if we all learn and never stop growing ourselves emotionally ... so really ... its about being yourself and walking along side your partner ... people say tomorrow is a gift ... i would say every next second being alive is a gift .... so why hold back on being nice to the person next to you ^^ ... it doesn't cost a cent to do that :)

Oh~ i got lots of rash over my body .... because of the vegetation i bashed through during the whole of yesterday ... lots of spider drop onto my face and some even crawl into my back .... ZzzzZzzzZzz Zzzz ZZzzZZzzZZzzz thought it would heal but it took a bit longer than usual ... Even Png got it ... -_- ||| Ok sleep ^^ spent the whole day packing my stuff for taiwan ...

I'll let you guys know more ^^

Say something nice to your mum and dad ...

^^ I read the last few post i made ... i guess i was pretty heated up when i wrote them >.< ...

Some of the folks know that i'm into those very sentimental soundtracks ... people often ask my choice of music ... why do i choose them ? I get more feelings from those sentimental tracks ... it calms me down ... ^^ it has more feel ...

I just finished watching "Tokyo Tower , Mum and I , and sometimes Dad " its based on a novel which was published by a japanese author in japan .... i think the title itself tells you what the show is all about ... relationship between mother and child ... quite touching ... if i did not remember wrongly ... the book was written by the author because he miss his deceased mum ... something like his biography ..

Sleepzz

What is this ....

Pissed off at those with "power"

Mentally worn out ... we're doing stupid things ....

Is it necessary to do it everyday ...

Think !!! will it bear fruit ??? ... somehow i feel what we are doing is futile ...

Let us go ... just let us return to normal routine ... i'm tired ... going to fly off and we have to do this ...

Hope it will be over soon ...

And to the "God Knows Where You Are" .... please go eat shit and die ... "YOU" are causing major INCONVINENCE to everyone ...

i'm back from tekong

Just came back from another 6 days no shower place ... stink like cow dung ... i think its even worst this time ... ... ...

I didn't do much during the 6 days there ... except i sleep in the open forest ... couldn't sleep LOL ... tasked with the role of enemy ... i was deployed and i must sit alone and wait till dawn >.< can rest but lol scary ... because i got no shelter ... those big spider lurking around T_T but either way still got to find ways to endure through it ... so count stars and talk to my men lor ahahah at the same time try to think of people i miss ... it helps when you're out alone in the dark chilly forest ... take away all the fear in you ... I do feel afriad when i go for those night navigation ... those extremely dense forest where no sunlight can penetrate through ... when night falls ITS OMG INSIDE ... you vs nature ... i hope it won't be too cold in taiwan's forest ...

Oh one of my men saw spirits again ... and it sounds pretty scary ... then we all began telling ghost stories lol ... stuff like organs from a servicemen was ripped out and arranged properly inside his cupboard ... i told them something i heard ... it goes like this ... there this group of troops walking to their destination and their leader told them should they break contact from each other they should stay calm and not wander off . They were told to stay put and wait for rescue . Then as the sky gets darker one of the guy break contact from the main group. He did as what was intsructed to him ... but he got afriad of being alone in the forest and started seeing things ... he remembered that one of his seniors told him to chant prayers shold he "see" anything and tie a black cloth to cover his eyes... he started to chant prayers he could remembered and hope for the best ... during the march the main group realise this particular guy was missing and started to search for him. The main group could not locate him until dawn came ... they found the guy kneeling in a prayer posture with tree vines imapled through him ... i don't know if its real or not lol but i feel scared when i was told this lol ... it was during one of my outfield sommore T_T ... even as i type now i can feel the chills lol ...

Alright 30 days more to taiwan ^^ see you folks soon :P

Blue Jazz ...

^^ No big parties no big event ^^

I prefer something light ^^

Not bad though ... blue jazz .... good place to chill ... live band ... can drink all you like ... nope ^^ i didn't got for alcohol but puiyee did get her beer lol ... i had something called ... chimichunga ??? lol can't remember but its nicee!!

Think it has been ages since i last had a decent chat with anyone ... so its rather nice ^^

We talk a lot ... lol ... just like old times ... and she give me that shocking face when i told her its my birthday lol ... too busy to remember ^^ thats what happens when you get too busy with work and studies ... hope she gets what she wanted ^^

I'm not really bothered if no one remember my birthday ...to be honest i can't remember everyone's birthday ... i can only remember some ... ... to be remembered is sufficient for me ... for either the bad or the good ... eventually i would just become a memory to others ... birth date won't matter by then ... its about just being remembered by someone ...

"Oh ! The folks in camp !!! don't come and "TAU POK" me ... i will definately kick you in the face ... plus countless guard duties !!! orders from SGT Aw ~ "

MM . . . . nothing much to say LOL ... Sleep~

I'm not the same anymore ^^

Hey i'm back from outfield ^^ :P after 5 days without shower i'm finally freed from that exercise ... a week of rest has been granted before i depart to another small island for another week without shower T_T ... leaving that aside ... let me share something with you people ^^ ...

I've a guy who is under my charge ... hes those with fragile feelings ... i think because hes too pampered by his parents ... i'm not sure about that ... the incident was that i tasked him to get the rest to take over sentry duties and he came back sulking claiming that the guys shouted at him ... it was like 9 pm in the night ... without light ... and i stink like shit because of all the outfield thing ... naturally i'm rather pissed off with the guys who shouted at him ... he ran off sat at one corner and start to become " emo~ " just like those horror flick movie you see where the ghost kid would sit in one corner of the room ... he did that at the drain ... end up when the whole thing was settled ... minor issue actually ... its not over !!! he then said that he feel useless within the team ... i never tasked him duties ... he made it sound like i'm responsible for his feelings !!! i almost wanted to punish him earlier on for almost getting Matthew into trouble but i let it slide and now !!! I was like OMG LOR ... i never face him directly i just stood there and spoke ... " you hold certain appointments within the ranks and you are given certain jobs , i can't possibly assign you other people job ... i have to follow the code ... allowing you to rest is part of the code " ... he sulk -_- my boss heard it ... and he repeated what i said to him again ... and he said he want to feel important -_- i was damm amazed by him la~ my boss then made him his runner and tell him to get some sleep ... finally case close ...I never tired to pacify this guy who is under me because firstly i want him to understand that i'm not there to make him feel like hes godly or whatever ... hes responsible for that ... and also not everyone in the society is kind enough to even bother about him ... my role is to make sure he goes home safely ... feelings are beyond my control ... of course i never tell him that ... i think if i preach on he might just cry there -_- i can be very nice to him and soothe him but it will be very difficult for me to get work done like this ... thats why i never do it ... i just explain and scold ...


Then the other peeps started to say SGT AW you never give him fatherly love la~

Theres something i want to say here is ... self worth doesn't comes from other people's acknowledgement ... there are times when no one will acknowledge you then what happens ? You fail ? NO ... THATS A BIG NO ... each and everyone of us are responsible for ourselves ... its very unfair to depend on others to make ourself feel better ... do you guys think its a right thing to do ? How we feel are affected largely by how we think about ourselves ... we live only once and theres no reason to think so lowly about ourselves ... each and everyone is special and unique ... everyone is capable of something someone else isn't capable of ... diligence will pay off in due time ... believe in that ^^

mm . . . Might be a bit too late for this but HAPPY BELATED LOVEY LOVEY Valentine Day to all couples ^^ and also the singles ^^

What would i say ?

Thought i could beat the stomach flu by myself ... eventually i still went to see the doctor LOL ... need medication to remove virus ... otherwise the toliet will be my next best friend T_T but oh well ... i'm partly to blame for this so >.< time to move on ...


Just feel like writing this ...
Its like ... many years have pass
But in actual fact its just merely a few years
Yet you know whats the scary part ?
Its as if i've never met you before at all ...
The memories are fading ... the mind treat it as if you where just a dream and when the next sun rises you will disappear ... dreams weren't meant to be permanent ...

I'll probably find it difficult to converse with you directly if we were to meet ...
It seems silly to say all this but thats what i realise ...

The deep wound cause by your absence will never be healed completely
Even with myself knowing it would only bring greater pain with you around
Its not a fault cause by you ... its a pain my heart chooses to relive everytime
But eventually time heals all wound leaving behind a scar as a form of remembrance

You were my dream ...
Sometimes when i sleep at night ...
I wish i could dream a dream again...


^^ Nice~ Something emo lol ~ ~
Happy Chinese New Year Folks~ ^^

Mm . . . .M.. .. .

Sometimes i just can't be bothered with the title for my entries so i just go mmm... mmm ...

I was out with allan shopping for PS3 ... guess what ... the consoles are out of stock !!! -_- allan was so anxious to get his rockband set as well ... but nevermind we try looking somewhere when we are free >.<

Bla~ Bla~

Simone leaving for london ... to meet Kenny ^^ too bad when he return during april i'm not in Singapore .... argh~~ nevermind ^^

Theres plenty of opportunities ^^

Happy Chinese New Year People ^^

Where are you !!!! Don't know why suddenly can start to miss you for no reason ... maybe its starting to feel a bit lonely ... just maybe

>.< Ugu~uu~~

I think it has been quite a while since i fall sick ... judging by the mild fever , nauseating feeling , dizziness symptons .... i believe i've been hit by stomach flu~

Haha i wonder how i get it .... its a viral infection ... >.< ... Either way i just have to rest enough ahaha ^^ if i still get that bitter taste in the mouth i'll probably visit the doctor ^^ ...

Now Sis came back ... i believe i got it from her !!! shes ok orledi~ @!@#@!# now its my turn ...

Must be the food she ask me to finish it up for her .... argh~H~H~H~

Never mind ... it won't kill me ... just hate that weak achy feeling all over my body >.<

I wanted to blog something else but too tired to continue .. i'll sleep for now

Blank ~ ?

Just feel like writing something ... something emotional ... but i've no idea what to write ...

I'm doing the usual stuff ... anime , games , running , skipping , movies , swimming , pushups , cooking , sleeping , hanging out with the folks .... but still if feels like something is lacking in my life ... girlfriend ? don't think so ... that isn't a priority yet ... still need to get myself into better shape before i embark into that >.< ... just can't figure it out ...

Had a dream last night ... a very wonderful dream ... don't laugh please ... i've no idea how it began but the dream began with a lady holding my arm ... shes wearing a green dress and has long wavy hair ... but i didn't see her face ... she just walk besides me and we're on the way to this wedding gown fashion show ... we're like deciding what to get .... then i woke up ...

Hahah i was smiling when i woke up lol ... just a pity i didn't manage to catch a glimpse of her face ... maybe its meant to be that way ... but i feel like 28 years old in that dream ... i wonder ... what would happen when i've turn 28 ... its not a very distant thing ... i'm turning 22 soon ...

I've only one wish ... that i don't have to feel .. .. ... ...

The last stretch ....

Finally .... or should i say .... its going to be over real soon .

We've handed over the ops duty 2 days back ^^ luckily nothing happen, which is a blessing for everyone. For that ops duty ... "No News equates to Good News"

I shall not bore you about the duties we carry out there ...

After handing over the duties our big big boss planned a retreat at loyang chalet for us commanders ... we dread going there seriously because the men gets to enjoy their long weekend and here we have to attend this retreat ... but when we reach there for the 2 days 2 nights activity ... i think it wasn't so bad afterall ...

The fights at the pool .... dragging each and everyone off their beds and throwing them into the pools ... we even have the scouts executor who keeps ripping off underwears ... i've no idea how many pieces of underwear alan ripped off from some of the guys there ... he shows no mercy !!! Johnathan's undies was ripped off when he entered their bunk last few days ... SACRY !!!

Since we're at changi area ... we visited the "bapoks" of the village ... men who undergo sex operations to become women. I must say ... some look very beautiful ... some even sound like a real woman ... one of them chatted up with allan ... and we manage to know abit of their lifestlye ...

Old Changi Hospital .... since majority rented bikes overnight .... we decided to visit that damm place ... we were not properly equipped .... no torchlight .... we only got handphones !!! .... when we reach there we went through the 1st level only to reach a dead end ... the lights from the handphone barely gives us sufficient vision to walk around ... quite a bit of blood stains on the floor ... glasses ... syringes .... we're at the place with 7 storey .... i think its the ward section ... Caleb said that he once went up to 2nd level and was unable to get out ... we didn't not went further in .... theres another group of people with us ... 2 girls 4 guys they went up all the way ... together with "Tall Men" and Johnathan Shen .... While waiting for them .... Allan and Matthew told us they heard grunting noises behind them at the other entrance but when they look around they saw nothing ... I was like !@#@!#@! ~~~ We're not afriad of the dark but the place together with the combination of full moon gives off a very creepy feeling ... We left after the group came back ....they say nothing happen .... maybe you guys want to try going there ... End~

I'm covered with sunburns all over my body .... alright ^^ 1 more month and i'll be gone for the final exercise .... Stage 2 evaluation and a brigade level exercise ...

I'll be getting back my Pink IC soon ^^

Oh My God ~~~~

>.< It has been a while since i last saw any of the guys or the ladies ...

I on duty ... guarding some .... important place ...

Do day shift 12 hours .... night shift also 12 hours ... those dead people roaming around hours .... 10 pm to 10 am !@#!@#!@#!@#

Today i almost puked LOL ... two nights in a row i helped my friend because hes not those who can take night duties well ... waa i slept for only 4 hours during the period of 48 hours !!! When i was standing guard at 6 am i really cannot take it ... luckily i got many sweets with me ...

At some point of time when i can get a rest, i even took a quick nap but .... i cannot lie down ... must sit down and sleep !@#!@#!@!@ its an ORDER !!! To hell with that .... i immediately fell asleep lol ... woke up my left side of the body all became numb .... because the flow of blood was blocked !#@!#!@#

So bored and grouchy during duty ... not enought sleep .... i still got 4 more duties to finish before the main group comes and take over ... i miss my weekends ... i've lost track of time T_T ... So sleepy ...

Body Clock Messed Up~

... 8 pm to 12 noon ... duty ... sleep till 6 ... 8 pm go duty again ...same thing repeats T_T

Now my body clock is so messed up that i couldn't tell if i'm tired or not ...

Just feel so sick~ ... headache ... T_T i try not to nap so much when i come home but its almost 24 hours since i last had a proper rest ... T_T if i sleep now ... i will tune my body to active during silent hours ... >.<

Can't say what i'm doing now but .... its a so call real thing~ even as i am typing now ... people are doing their duty ... ZzzZzzz ZzzzZzzz

Before i forget ... Hao Jie Mei Esther gave me this to try ...

4 cup Japanese rice
4 medium chicken thighs or 2 large chicken breasts
1 onion
2 cups soup stock (dashi)
10 tbsp soy sauce
5 tbsp mirin
5 tbsp sugar
4 eggs

Hope i dun mess this up .... shall try this soon !!!

What would you do ?

Recently i heard the news about "mc king" died ... i saw him few weeks back at mac donald ...

Today Nigel reminded me about it ... then there was this cute baby sitting near us ... suddenly i thought ... life ~ is it so unpredictable ... so much that we won't know whats going to happen the next moment ? It feels frightening when i had that initial thoughts ... but then again i've no power over it so why should i fear it ... if it comes suddenly then i got no choice ... but the depressing part is , am i able to do what i want to do before i leave this world ? Then again , if a date was told to you that on this very day your life will end ... will your actions change ? Will you do anything thats on your mind ? What will you do ?

What will i do ? ... In fact ... i will probably give one final hug to those whom i know ... i will want to see them one last time ... thats for me ^^

If a date is set for you ...

What will you do from now on ...