The last paper ...

Whats the best thing about my life ?

Seriously have you ever asked yourself this ? Whats the best thing about your life ?

For me i can tell you that ... my life is considered to be very good ... I have enough to eat , a place to sleep , have been in love before , great friends , great schoolmates , very good family members . I couldn't ask for more ... my only wish is i can keep everything the way it is forever ... it might sound naive ... but yes if you think its naive of me to think in that way then i have to say i love my life this way no matter what you think ...

I don't need branded to survive ... i just need my folks to smile ... because when i am down the only thing that keeps me going is their trust in me ... their non pressuring assurance that i just have to do my best and wait for the results was a very good motivation ...

I needed my friends to be happy ... because when i am hit worst they will always be there to tell me that life is still good ... and chances are everywhere ...

And really ... life is that simple and great ... i may have been out of love ... but without that love before , i guess i won't really know how to love a person ... or rather how precious love can be ...

So what ARE the best thing about your life ... ?

Some Good News

Woo I got my frist grade from University .... Technical Communication ~

Abstract writing : B

Presentation : B+

· Fairly loud, articulate
· Good gestures
· Good explanation of slides
· Good images
· Smaller text

Final Report : B

Phew ... Those were the remarks for my presentation ... i thought my professor would say i will be good in selling pots and pans ... but overall i'm happy with this grading ^^

Its just not meant to be ....

Ever had a blank out during examination ? ... I almost did ... and even though the temperature was like 20°C i was perspiring .... my palm was perspiring too ! Just panicked ... and yes i made a lot of mistakes which i normally won't ...

Tabulated ... i think today paper at most earn me 40 marks ... ( with compassion ) ... if i did not make those silly mistakes ... i should be able to pass but ... ... ... Its over but >.< i just don't get it ... why things turn out this way .... this is the third paper and i'm sitting for another one tomorrow ... after which i had 2 more to go ... i just feel like stopping ... when i pen my solutions i was like thinking ... so what are my next plan ? Study in SIM ? Or go to work .... or what .... ? What can i do ? WHAT should my next path be ? Everything is like so out of place ... trying to keep myself calm and just finish the exam ... probably my last time in NTU ... its just not meant to be ... i'm just not good enough ... i tried ... but the results ... it just doesn't reflect the amount of effort i had poured in ...

Day and night ... study and study ... i force myself to get out of home and travel to school so i can focus purely on books ... everyday i spend like 10 over hours revising work ... but everything just crumbles during exam ... no point crying over spilled milk some may say but its just so heavy ...

I just feel so sad ... yes you heard me ... i'm sad ~

I'll finish my exam and most likely ( depends on the result ) chances of applying for withdrawal is very high ... then i'll go back to finish my 1 mth NS liability ... and during this time ... figure out whats most important to me ...

I'm so sorry peeps ... but i've tried ~

Everything is overkill ~

Maths ... was alright ... not so much to worry ...

Now another 2 MAJOR CORE ... Mechanics of materials and fluid mechanics ....

Heavy subjects ... with heavy theories and formulas ... ~ I will just finish this and proceed on ...~

Tuesday and Wednesday will be the exam for those 2 .... ~

Can make it or not doesn't matter ... ... told my Mum and Dad what happen for my Stats ... they tell me not to be so upset ... just finish my exam and focus on the rest ... until the result is out don't give up ...

I almost want to give up the rest ... but somehow or rather ... i still hang on ... why ? Not sure , maybe because i already made a promise to myself that no matter what i cannot stop halfway ... its just too irresponsible ... I'll just finish everything off with a bang ^^

The rain ... the aches ... the disappointment ...

When i thought i had done my best preparation ... i went into the exam hall ... temperature was very cold ... and i was shivering while doing the paper ... i almost walk out because i simply cannot do even half of the paper ... i tried but i am not confident ... some which i really couldn't write any thing down, i had to leave them blank ... for some, its until the last minute then i thought of the solution which i quickly pen it down ...

All that was in my mind when i glance at the question was ... "i'm so dead" ~

I can only shake my head when i leave the exam hall which lasted about 2 hours 40 minutes ...

I tried ... tried so hard .... yet why like that ? why at the crucial moment ... everything just crumbles down .... my mind want to go blank but i had to stop spacing out .... feel like crying so i might feel better ... but then i just feel so disappointed ... with everything ... i had to tell myself everything is over ... just forget about it and focus on the other upcoming ones .....

1st paper ! i think there is this 70% chance i might fail .... i hope i am wrong

Tomorrow is maths ... and sigh~ ... i revised for it days ago ... seems like i forogtten everything ... i think i am stupid .... ~ ~

When shit falls !

Statistic can be a pain in the ass ...

Never give up ...

Its the crucial moment ...

If you chance upon my blog and you are still mugging for exam ...

Hang in there ...

It will be over soon ...

Good Luck ....

Don't despair ....

Because i also will feel sad and want to throw my books and notes on the floor at times too ...

But when i think about my Mum and Dad ... i realise that this is nothing so hard to cope with ... i just had to study and revise ... if never do well never mind ... but i cannot give up just because its hard ... because giving up on something just because its hard ... is just not the way i should live my life ... hang on !

Saturday~

11am to 10 pm~ study~ ....

Don't know what i'm studying for man ~ ... for exam~ ... but just that fear i forget ... its not memory~ ... in university level ... its different ... so different ...

Continue tomorrow >.< hope i make it ...~

Woa~

Today got Physics Quiz ... not too bad ...~ can do , but energy conservation a bit lost ... Got back my fluid mechanic result ... waa very shocked ... i thought i can score like 8/10 but came back with a 5/10 3 unexpected errors ! when i redo again i found out i overlook some figures ....

JM was sitting beside me and he scored full marks .... he did not said a word after he saw my grades ... hes being polite ~ pretty thankful~ but doesn't really matter to me ... When i first recieved it ~ my heart naturally sink and they why question start popping out in my head ... i was very well prepared for this but WHY ? Then i had to tell myself to stop ... and i tell myself to learn from this mistake and not repeat it in the exam ... the quiz do count in the overall grade but whats done is done ... i have to overlook that expectation i had for myself ... i had to accept it and learn from my mistakes ...

As a whole i think i had high expectation for myself ... and sometimes i have to really remind myself that sometimes things won't go my way even if i put in a lot of effort ... just go in the exam hall and be myself ... can do means can do ... for now just revise ^^

Woo~

Maths quiz came as a surprise ... The prof "let water" so its a booster for us ... i think most get full marks ~ i did get full marks ... but 4 question 25 marks each ... and really ~ even you can do it ... too easy but everyone is thankful as it helps a lot in the grand total calculation ...

The exam is damm hard~ ... and i'm still hanging in there ... just that sometimes the fatigue sets in and i can doze off while reading or writing ~ ... but NO CHOICE ... its a make or break thing ... a lot of us study till very fustrated but we continue ... because its normal to feel it this way ... just take 1 hour off and go do your favourite thing ... running ... games ... whatever it is don't give up !

Its revision again so ... ya just reach home ... Midnight le >.< like what the Prof told us during the opening speech... Engineering Course Studen'ts life is ~ study 17 hours sleep 7 hours you got no time for other stuff .... Saturday and Sunday also must study ... i totally agree ... even if i use up the full 3 months semester ... i think i will still be struggling ... can you imagine ... i do all my tutorials twice ~ for everytime a quiz comes up, i redo my tutorials all over again~ the paper i used up is AMAZING man~ and the best part ... i can forget how i do those question -_- can't even understand howcome i know how to do sometimes ...

Oh well don't say so much going to 1 am ... short break for me and i must continue .. >.<~ 18 more days to holidays

Encouragement ...

I got back my chemistry quiz result ... 50/100 not bad ....~ definately i cannot compare with the lady who scored 100 ... but i'm happy ... why ? My effort paid off ! i thought i got ZERO but i scored something ~ and those which i did not manage to get correct ... i learned from it so i won't repeat my mistakes ... its a quiz to show me how much i know and how much i don't know ... the 50 marks ONLY is not to make me feel shitty about myself ... it is there to show me what i must work on ... i need to know the other 50% so in exam i can get even better grades ...

I know some of you got back your results and its like shit ... and judging from the time left and the amount of stuff we need to know before we sit for the paper is amazingly impossible ... but as i said ... if you have 100% of stuff you don't know ... you don't do anything about it ... when you sit for the exam you definately score 0% if you study now ... you will get something and if you're lucky you may pull through ... SO INSTEAD OF sulking and feeling scared DO YOUR REVISION AFTER A CUP OF COFFEE ... ( by the way i am having chicken pie and chocolate milk now ).

Weiling kept a mini book of encouragement quotes with hi during our revision time ... when he feel like shit he takes them out to read ... we are all burn out mentally ... yes i agree ... but if we give up at the most crucial moment is deem as suicide ... you won't want to die before you fire a shot into your enemy right !

When we wake up every morning ... WE HAVE TWO CHOICES ... CONTINUE TO CHASE OUR DREAM OR BECOME A NOBODY ... whats yours ?

Randy Pausch said in "Last Lecture". The Brick walls are there for a reason; they let us prove how badly we want things.” These brick walls are there to keep other people out.

So are you going to fight for it ? Or just let that brick wall stop you so easily ?

Everything comes with a price ... without effort you will get nothing ...

Hang in there no matter how gloomy it seems ...
The sun will still rise the next day ... the earth will still continue to spin ... and you have to continue to live as if everyday is your last ... for your days are finite ... don't waste it ... cherish it ... and most importantly ^^ make the best out of everything you do ... don't give up trying because if its hard means its worth the effort achieving whatever you are doing ... if its so easy then its probably worth nothing ~ .... take care and good luck peeps ~

hows the war coming~

Theres a saying .... you fail to plan ... you plan to fail ...~ am i planning ? I did a timetable for revision ... and really its not sufficient ... but i'll make do with every hours i can spare ... saturday will be in school full day ... sunday also ... i rejected Nigel's invitation for lan~ and probably for the next coming 4 weeks i will be in school everyday till 10.30 pm ... its my last effort to push myself . Whatever the outcome is ^^ i'll just see how it turns out ...

Studying in NTU is woa challenging ~ try doing Eng Courses~ the load is amazing~ Its fun~ and i hope to continue my time there ^^ Mum gave me the usual smile ... and the green light to get bike license if i am still in school next semester ^^ She say one thing " Get those with low horsepower ! She doesn't want me to speed~ and get myself into uncessary dangers but she understand my concerns about the time spent on travelling is just not worth it ... so ^^ for them for myselves i'll just not give up ~ its not the end yet !

So you too, who is studying like theres no tomorrow shouldn't give up trying ... i know it sucks but bear with it ... you will emerge a better person through these ordeals ... the punishing hours spent on notes , tutorials and past year paper ... endless discussion with friends to understand how formulas work ... all theses won't be for nothing ... it slowly shapes you as a person ... turning you into someone who don't give up easily when problem arises ...