My stove is outta gas . . . now i can't do any cooking . . . very hungry . . . so i use my microwave machine to cook instant noodles and it taste awful . . . fire still the best for cooking .
Yesterday . . . Randall , Goh , YiJie , Gillian , Zhong Wei , BG and me went for dinner at Pasir Panjang Berth 3 . . . the food was very nice ! The chicken wings ! Char Kuay Tiao ! Fish ! Now i'm so hungry . . . As it was the first time we eat out in such a big group it was kind of awkward . . . or rather shy as the folks are dying to pay for everything . . . there will be more coming up dinners together i guess . . . Better get my car lisence fast . . . can drive my folks and friends and my girl to eat there . . . ^.^ The food there nice . . . For the first time i was eating there ^.^ and there is the so call romantic MacDonald which is facing the seaside . . . operates 24 hourly during weekends . . . so yup i guess the ladies are right . . . they find it romantic . . have yet to try it out ^.^. . .
I still have not get my pay at all . . . bank has no reserves . . . hope it comes soon . . .
Need to get a watch . . . guitar . . . sets of shirts and pants . . . new shoes . . . slippers . . . bicycle . . . ^.^ and a necklace ^.^. . .
I hope i get to make the passport didn't went down to ICA building today . . .crap i wonder when i get the time to do it . . . need to book the place for Klung mountain trail soon . . . anyone keen to join ? the mountain 510m above sea level only i think . . . one full day set of early in saturday morning and come back most likely in the late evening . . . i want to go ! Just give me a call and let me know . . . limited vacancies only and yes its in Malaysia . . . so get ya passport renewed if its expired . . . i guess i had to make a new one . . .
Hope to get the bicycle soon ! Going to trash the one in my storeroom . . . too heavy . . . plus the body frame is not firm . . . once i get it ^.^ its night riding time ! Should be asking Xiao Mei for the ride ! Haha . . .
So folks chalet . . . the guys side i had no problem coordinating . . . the ladies side a bit hard . . . i only got some comformation from some so kindly drop me a mail or something to notify me when is your busy period over . . . don't wish to plan one which no body enjoys ^>^ .
Mail me at aw_wenhao@hotmail.com or awwenhao@gmail.com . . . ^.^ thanks !
And if YOU are reading this . . . I hope you are fine . . . take care of youself ok . . .
Ok going back to Ace Combat 5 !
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Still its raining . . .
Chatting with my cousin Ah Cong online sure bring the both of us closer ^.^ i use to stay over at his home when ever i had holidays .
He watch me grow up from a baby . . . hes older than me by 4 years . And i watch him grow up mid way . To me hes like an elder brother . . . someone who talk to me and joke with me . At least another person who appreciate me . . . ^.^
So his girlfriend came back from Hong Kong last night and i ask him HEY did she buy anything for me ! . . . He said no T_T but she bought Lao Po Bing ( WIFE BISCUIT ) for him and so i asked him what else did she try there. . . Roast Pigeon ! I bet it taste like chicken . . . Soon i will be going to army and hes starting his degree course soon ^.^
I have booked my medical checkup date OCT 21. . .but i going to change it because its my last day of work so i don't wish to miss it . . .My deferment date ends on March 15 2006 most probably enlisting by next June . . . Though its ARMY only but . . :)
please take care ok . . .
"Eat more fruits . . Drink more water . . . Sleep early . . .Cut down on the milk tea"
How funny its raining cats and dogs lately . . . whos crying by your side my dear friends . . .offer them a shoulder or a hug if you can ok . . . i don't know but the atmosphere i feel is so . . sad
I'm around always ^.^ call my hotline ! Open 24 hours ! If you don't believe check with my Jie Mei she can verify one !
He watch me grow up from a baby . . . hes older than me by 4 years . And i watch him grow up mid way . To me hes like an elder brother . . . someone who talk to me and joke with me . At least another person who appreciate me . . . ^.^
So his girlfriend came back from Hong Kong last night and i ask him HEY did she buy anything for me ! . . . He said no T_T but she bought Lao Po Bing ( WIFE BISCUIT ) for him and so i asked him what else did she try there. . . Roast Pigeon ! I bet it taste like chicken . . . Soon i will be going to army and hes starting his degree course soon ^.^
I have booked my medical checkup date OCT 21. . .but i going to change it because its my last day of work so i don't wish to miss it . . .My deferment date ends on March 15 2006 most probably enlisting by next June . . . Though its ARMY only but . . :)
please take care ok . . .
"Eat more fruits . . Drink more water . . . Sleep early . . .Cut down on the milk tea"
How funny its raining cats and dogs lately . . . whos crying by your side my dear friends . . .offer them a shoulder or a hug if you can ok . . . i don't know but the atmosphere i feel is so . . sad
I'm around always ^.^ call my hotline ! Open 24 hours ! If you don't believe check with my Jie Mei she can verify one !
Monday, July 25, 2005
Sunday, July 24, 2005
The story continues . . .
I went to Queenstown yesterday with Ken. . . he bought his nike shoes . . . and i saw some nice shirts there BUT no pay to buy ! Its alright i will go back again ^.^ And the Queenstown Trip was damm hilarious . . . As usual when some MeiNu pass by we would notice so this time i didn't Ken SAW HER . . . Long hair . . Big Eyes . . . nice skin tone . . . very sporty looking or rather sweet . . . Can guess she very active type . . . all eyes at the shop was set on her . . . i guess. So that sort of cheer both of us up as we joke about getting her number and stuff as we walk to Ikea . . . Very Funny you should see how we laugh man . . . but Ikea trip was OMG the crowd really make me very Boiled Up . . too crowded. So we left that area . . soon and met up with
Ck , Allan , Py for The ISLAND movie at Bishan . . . .after the movie Ah Guan came and we had late dinner together with PY going home first . . . So the movie how ? worth the money . . . can go and watch ^.^ . . . .
The story continue . . .
As Boy burshes the hair off . . . he lifted Girl's head and look into her eyes . . . he could tell how sad she was . . . how much she wanted to be together but the feeling was the main barrier . . . the barrier for a fresh start . . .
Boy: We can make this work again . . .
Girl: (Silence . . .)
Boy: You don't believe me ?
Girl: Is it possible ?
Boy: Yes if you believe me still . . .
Girl just cry so hard . . . the sky cried very hard too . . . Boy just hugged her and wipe those tears away from her . . .
Boy whisper into Girl's ear : You know how we got so far together ? Its our memories . . . i believe you always that you never leave me but today you really hurt me deep . . .
Girl whisper into Boy's ear : When you neglected me i was hurt too . . . i hinted you but you never seems to get it . . .
Boy whisper into Girl's ear : Sorry . . . . . . let me know directly if it happens . . . should i not understand it . . . you have to tell me . . .You know i do care . . .
Girl whisper into Boy's ear : Sorry. . .
Boy cradle Girl in his arm as usual . . . just like a baby princess . . . as always . . .Boy knows Girl wish to be doted on . . . he tries his best . . . perhaps Girl finally understood something . . .
It was a long night . . . sometimes things cannot be just base on feelings alone . . . Boy trusted Girl with his heart . . but Girl didn't know . . . but she gave him a chance or rather a chance for the both of them . . . feelings come and go . . . but remember faithful Girls and Boys are out there . . .don't give up as good endings would mean a lot of sacrifices . . .
Alright i have to go cut my hair so i end the story . . . very typical right ? No No don't just look you have to imagine the scene . . . the hug the tears the soft spoken tone . . . all this play a part
sometimes people really have to say how they feel . . . its hard to guess . . . its sweet of course if the person knows but reality bites . . . no body know how you feel but yourself . . .
OK cut hair ! Ken your hair is cool ! Short and neat . . . mine so long ! Ok ! Give me some idea of who to invite people . . . Ah Guan enlisiting soon . . . AND i guess everyone whos invited must help with the finance a bit . . . i promise it will be a BIT HaHa . . . maybe a BIG BIT.
Take care folks. . . .( Its raining again . . . whos crying . . . go to them . . . at least . . . be there )
Ck , Allan , Py for The ISLAND movie at Bishan . . . .after the movie Ah Guan came and we had late dinner together with PY going home first . . . So the movie how ? worth the money . . . can go and watch ^.^ . . . .
The story continue . . .
As Boy burshes the hair off . . . he lifted Girl's head and look into her eyes . . . he could tell how sad she was . . . how much she wanted to be together but the feeling was the main barrier . . . the barrier for a fresh start . . .
Boy: We can make this work again . . .
Girl: (Silence . . .)
Boy: You don't believe me ?
Girl: Is it possible ?
Boy: Yes if you believe me still . . .
Girl just cry so hard . . . the sky cried very hard too . . . Boy just hugged her and wipe those tears away from her . . .
Boy whisper into Girl's ear : You know how we got so far together ? Its our memories . . . i believe you always that you never leave me but today you really hurt me deep . . .
Girl whisper into Boy's ear : When you neglected me i was hurt too . . . i hinted you but you never seems to get it . . .
Boy whisper into Girl's ear : Sorry . . . . . . let me know directly if it happens . . . should i not understand it . . . you have to tell me . . .You know i do care . . .
Girl whisper into Boy's ear : Sorry. . .
Boy cradle Girl in his arm as usual . . . just like a baby princess . . . as always . . .Boy knows Girl wish to be doted on . . . he tries his best . . . perhaps Girl finally understood something . . .
It was a long night . . . sometimes things cannot be just base on feelings alone . . . Boy trusted Girl with his heart . . but Girl didn't know . . . but she gave him a chance or rather a chance for the both of them . . . feelings come and go . . . but remember faithful Girls and Boys are out there . . .don't give up as good endings would mean a lot of sacrifices . . .
Alright i have to go cut my hair so i end the story . . . very typical right ? No No don't just look you have to imagine the scene . . . the hug the tears the soft spoken tone . . . all this play a part
sometimes people really have to say how they feel . . . its hard to guess . . . its sweet of course if the person knows but reality bites . . . no body know how you feel but yourself . . .
OK cut hair ! Ken your hair is cool ! Short and neat . . . mine so long ! Ok ! Give me some idea of who to invite people . . . Ah Guan enlisiting soon . . . AND i guess everyone whos invited must help with the finance a bit . . . i promise it will be a BIT HaHa . . . maybe a BIG BIT.
Take care folks. . . .( Its raining again . . . whos crying . . . go to them . . . at least . . . be there )
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Droplets of rain
My my . . i just saw Simone blog . . . before i continue i got trashed 2 times in a row playing game . . . w . t . h . . . decided to show you guys my story . . .
Boy:Why
Girl: I don't feel for you anymore
Boy:Does it have to end this way ?
Girl:. . . . .Sorry
Boy held girl hand closely to his chest once more and look into her eyes . . . that sparkling eyes only bring back fond memories they once had . . . yet they are just only memories . . .
Boy: You won't miss me right ?
Girl: I . . . .
Peering outside the window the sky started to cry . . . big droplets of tears started to fall from that pair of sparkling eyes . . . Boy brushes the fallen hair from her face . . .and lifted her head
.....to be continued
Boy:Why
Girl: I don't feel for you anymore
Boy:Does it have to end this way ?
Girl:. . . . .Sorry
Boy held girl hand closely to his chest once more and look into her eyes . . . that sparkling eyes only bring back fond memories they once had . . . yet they are just only memories . . .
Boy: You won't miss me right ?
Girl: I . . . .
Peering outside the window the sky started to cry . . . big droplets of tears started to fall from that pair of sparkling eyes . . . Boy brushes the fallen hair from her face . . .and lifted her head
.....to be continued
Friday, July 22, 2005
OT OT OT
Yes thats what i'm getting ^.^ Sudden OT !
Working at Exxon Mobil is really boring yet at the same time fun when you get loads of work thrown at you DURING THE LAST MINUTE when you are going home.
LayKoon one of the engineer who is EXTREMELY NICE ( i mean it ) told ZhongWei that she need some files to be done as she will be flying off to melbourne for a meeting . But the work load was too much to be rushed during the last minute . . . So they enlisted the help of Yi Jie but STILL too much to handle . . . so being the guy who always sit around scanning drawings, i was too enlisted to help them in this GREAT ASSIGNMENT . Thursday we finish the file required for Today meeting as LayKoon is going to fly in the evening BUT something happen . . . some minor mistake was made and everything has to be rechecked to assure its 100% correct . . . my supervisor send us to the gate using the company car after the work on thursday ^.^
Again the 3 elites of SAI KANG ( shitty job) was called upon to do this task again TODAY . . . as we was sorting out everything LayKoon say " ok so what you guys want for a meal " ^.^ she treating us for a meal for helping her ! Randall too ! After completing the work today ZhongWei offered to drive us to Jurong MRT. Together Me ,Yijie, ZhongWei and His Girlfriend we went back . . . waving goodbye to Randall who is going with Goh for a meal after work . . . ^.^
^.^ After this 2 days of OT everyone is warm up but sadly LayKoon is joining the process side . .
My side is inspection side . . . can call them inspection engineers . . . ^.^there are onfield inspectors and mechanical teams and much more . . . theres much to learn still . . .
Did not went on trip today as there wasn't enough space to take all 3 of us to the trip . . . so i did not go so that Gillian had the opportunity to go together with Yijie. I stay back and do more scanning of diagrams . . . ^.^
More pictures coming up . . . we took quite a few pictures of how a tank look like ! ITS BIG OK LIKE ONE SHOPPING MALL ! Horribly Big and also we took pictures together thanks to my
Lao Da Randall ! He like to slap my back often . . . and Grandpa Yue who like to put his arm around me . . . ^.^
Theres quite a few Shuai Ge in Exxon Mobil and i come to know one of them . . Mark was his name . . Yijie was the one who notice him LOLX !
Alright more to come ! Stay Tune
Working at Exxon Mobil is really boring yet at the same time fun when you get loads of work thrown at you DURING THE LAST MINUTE when you are going home.
LayKoon one of the engineer who is EXTREMELY NICE ( i mean it ) told ZhongWei that she need some files to be done as she will be flying off to melbourne for a meeting . But the work load was too much to be rushed during the last minute . . . So they enlisted the help of Yi Jie but STILL too much to handle . . . so being the guy who always sit around scanning drawings, i was too enlisted to help them in this GREAT ASSIGNMENT . Thursday we finish the file required for Today meeting as LayKoon is going to fly in the evening BUT something happen . . . some minor mistake was made and everything has to be rechecked to assure its 100% correct . . . my supervisor send us to the gate using the company car after the work on thursday ^.^
Again the 3 elites of SAI KANG ( shitty job) was called upon to do this task again TODAY . . . as we was sorting out everything LayKoon say " ok so what you guys want for a meal " ^.^ she treating us for a meal for helping her ! Randall too ! After completing the work today ZhongWei offered to drive us to Jurong MRT. Together Me ,Yijie, ZhongWei and His Girlfriend we went back . . . waving goodbye to Randall who is going with Goh for a meal after work . . . ^.^
^.^ After this 2 days of OT everyone is warm up but sadly LayKoon is joining the process side . .
My side is inspection side . . . can call them inspection engineers . . . ^.^there are onfield inspectors and mechanical teams and much more . . . theres much to learn still . . .
Did not went on trip today as there wasn't enough space to take all 3 of us to the trip . . . so i did not go so that Gillian had the opportunity to go together with Yijie. I stay back and do more scanning of diagrams . . . ^.^
More pictures coming up . . . we took quite a few pictures of how a tank look like ! ITS BIG OK LIKE ONE SHOPPING MALL ! Horribly Big and also we took pictures together thanks to my
Lao Da Randall ! He like to slap my back often . . . and Grandpa Yue who like to put his arm around me . . . ^.^
Theres quite a few Shuai Ge in Exxon Mobil and i come to know one of them . . Mark was his name . . Yijie was the one who notice him LOLX !
Alright more to come ! Stay Tune
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Early Retirement Plan
Heres what Randall show me today !
Early Retirement Plan
Due to the current fnancial situation,
management has decided to implement a
scheme to place all workers over 40 years of
age, on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE ( Retire Aged Personnel Early )
Personnel selected to be RAPED , can apply to management to be
eligible for the SHAFT ( Special Help AFTer Retired) Scheme
Personnel who have been RAPED and SHAFTED
will be reviewed under the SCREW ( Scheme For Retired Early Workers )
A person who may be RAPED only once , SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many time
as the management deems appropriate.
Personnel staying on, will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training )
as possible. The management has always taken pride in the amount of SHIT it gives it's
staff. However, should you feel that you do not recieve enough SHIT , please bring it to the attention of your immediate superior, who has been briefed to give you all the SHIT you
can handle . . .
I find it ok ok only not really amusing . . . but just share it around . . .
trying to obtain his house picture and i tell u his house is omg ! designed by his wife...
very nice !
Early Retirement Plan
Due to the current fnancial situation,
management has decided to implement a
scheme to place all workers over 40 years of
age, on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE ( Retire Aged Personnel Early )
Personnel selected to be RAPED , can apply to management to be
eligible for the SHAFT ( Special Help AFTer Retired) Scheme
Personnel who have been RAPED and SHAFTED
will be reviewed under the SCREW ( Scheme For Retired Early Workers )
A person who may be RAPED only once , SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many time
as the management deems appropriate.
Personnel staying on, will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training )
as possible. The management has always taken pride in the amount of SHIT it gives it's
staff. However, should you feel that you do not recieve enough SHIT , please bring it to the attention of your immediate superior, who has been briefed to give you all the SHIT you
can handle . . .
I find it ok ok only not really amusing . . . but just share it around . . .
trying to obtain his house picture and i tell u his house is omg ! designed by his wife...
very nice !
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Alright Dear HandsomeS And Beauties
Ok so whats up lately ! . . . hope everyone is doing fine and if you are not doing fine ! just call me . . i make sure everything will be fine for you . . .
Busy with err . . . workout . . . sleeping and most of the time resting . . . very ill lately . . . been sick for almost 2 weeks i guess GOD ! thats one of the longest time ever ! anyway still coughing badly now but i guess should be recovering soon . . .
Chalet ! I'll be planning the chalet this year ! please lend me your support folks . . . most probably the outcome will be at ECP . . . Ck , Sherri , Allan voted . . . Ah Ning is anything . . .
Mone~~~ wheres your answer ! But i guess should be EC Chalet . . . Will be coming up with the invitation list soon . . . should be ABLE to get like 30 over people to come ! I HOPE SO !
If got a lot ! i pay for one whole chalet ! that means we get 2 ! well that is if you guys are staying over . . .
Been a long time since we know each other right people ! 7 years for some 4 years for some . . . but it doesn't matter . . . . to me i know everyone since the day i throw chair at Daniel ! lolx ! Gosh Daniel you reading this ? Well thats long long ago !
Say . . . its about time isn't it . . . before i leave for army T_T i will bid farewell to you folks . . .
Soap opera . . . . PLEASE TAKE CARE when that day come . . . aw hao hao not around for 3 weeks T_T pray i get to go overseas to further my studies ! Hope to get a Degree in Pyschology
thats my ultimate path . . . ^.^ Oh well the planning still in progress . . . so stay tune . . .
Ah . . . 7 years . . . 7 long years ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ :)
Esther sleep early . . . relax and everything will be fine . . . i'm still around to help . . .
Sweet dreams folks ! May you find the comfort you need in your dreams . . .
Busy with err . . . workout . . . sleeping and most of the time resting . . . very ill lately . . . been sick for almost 2 weeks i guess GOD ! thats one of the longest time ever ! anyway still coughing badly now but i guess should be recovering soon . . .
Chalet ! I'll be planning the chalet this year ! please lend me your support folks . . . most probably the outcome will be at ECP . . . Ck , Sherri , Allan voted . . . Ah Ning is anything . . .
Mone~~~ wheres your answer ! But i guess should be EC Chalet . . . Will be coming up with the invitation list soon . . . should be ABLE to get like 30 over people to come ! I HOPE SO !
If got a lot ! i pay for one whole chalet ! that means we get 2 ! well that is if you guys are staying over . . .
Been a long time since we know each other right people ! 7 years for some 4 years for some . . . but it doesn't matter . . . . to me i know everyone since the day i throw chair at Daniel ! lolx ! Gosh Daniel you reading this ? Well thats long long ago !
Say . . . its about time isn't it . . . before i leave for army T_T i will bid farewell to you folks . . .
Soap opera . . . . PLEASE TAKE CARE when that day come . . . aw hao hao not around for 3 weeks T_T pray i get to go overseas to further my studies ! Hope to get a Degree in Pyschology
thats my ultimate path . . . ^.^ Oh well the planning still in progress . . . so stay tune . . .
Ah . . . 7 years . . . 7 long years ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ :)
Esther sleep early . . . relax and everything will be fine . . . i'm still around to help . . .
Sweet dreams folks ! May you find the comfort you need in your dreams . . .
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Good Night
Good night people ^.^ had a long day . . . and hao jie mei time for u to run liao . . . ^.^ you're quite a catch if you didn't put on those extra load . . . faster run don't waste time brooding over things ok . . . ZzzZzzzZzzzZzzzz oh sweet dreams to you too . . . . . . .
Night Folks
Night Folks
What i must do . . .
I've posted enough pictures and crap a lot in my last few entries . . .
I've decided what some of the things i wan to achieve . . .
Build a great body ^.^
Learn guitar . . .
Finish my attachement and school with flying colours . . .
Forage bonds with my friends . . .
Repaint my room and change the windows . . . . plus new desk
Finish all the game titles which i have yet to complete before i get PS3
For my Face ! I decided not to go for laser resurfacing now because going to army but will consult my doctor first . . . been plauging me for years . . . i seen my peers face heal so well yet mine isn't healing . . . i wonder why . . . stupid hormones . . . no matter what i will get it treated . .
Mum and Dad has been very happy since i started opening up to them i guess . . . yesterday night when walking home i saw their lorry driving off the carpark . . . i walk towards their direction and
Mum said : where did you go ?
Me : Oh i went to the gym in the morning then go out with friends .
Me : Stay at home also nothing to do .
Mum : ( Smile ) Haha...climbing the stairs home ?
Me : Ya .
Mum : Ok . . ( Smile ). .( drove off )~
I wonder whats her conversation with Dad after they drove off. . . Deep inside i realise the one i need was them . . . all along i was seeking for them . . . i'm not like some fortunate kids who got their Mum or Dad who spend weekends with them. . . before my Mum quit being a housewife i always run to the kitchen with my notebook asking her to teach me mathematics . . . stuff like 196 / 12 = ? when shes cooking . . . when i'm sick i would refuse to take medication and being a boy i would run about . . . my mum would wrestle me to the ground and force me to take the medication . . . by age 7 both of them went to work together from morning 5 am till wee hours in the night . . . i was left in the care of my Grandmother . . . i use to wake up at 5 am and run to their room to find them not there . . . at age 7 . . . i only cry and call out for my mother . . . as i grow older they employ a maid to take care of us about age 9 i think . . . since then i feel like i had no parents . . . for no reason i would get angry easily at them when they ask me where i go . . . because to me i no longer feel they care . . . i grew up being a bad tempered kid . . . not being love not being cared for . . . i desperately tried to filled this void i have . . . with other things
Eventually i lost sense of that pain . . . only to realise it was there all the time . . . so when i had a girlfriend she was my everything . . . the pilliar of my life . . . inside me that void was filled . . . at least thats how i felt . . . things turn sour after sometime and its over . . . i will give everything in exchange for her . . . i crumble . . . i fell . . . heavier this time . . . to realise that if i do not understand what the main problem is i will forever be pinning for her which i feel will never be possible again . . .
"When you reach out your hand to me i just cried so hard . . . i realise the one i'm missing was you" thats my mother . . . i'm refering to . . . and i've come to understand much more . . . just have to take better care of my parents now . . . thats all that matter .
Gf ? Haha who doesn't want one but now i guess isn't my time yet . . . slowy ba . . . such things cannot be rush or forced . ^>^ Let nature takes its course . . .
Off to go search for my jacket . . . and stuff in J8 at the same time go see Hao Jie Mei ^.^ Then visit Grandmother . . .
Folks take care . . . Upcoming event Chalet for BC(M) and BC(F) I will be the coordinator . . . please support ^.^
I've decided what some of the things i wan to achieve . . .
Build a great body ^.^
Learn guitar . . .
Finish my attachement and school with flying colours . . .
Forage bonds with my friends . . .
Repaint my room and change the windows . . . . plus new desk
Finish all the game titles which i have yet to complete before i get PS3
For my Face ! I decided not to go for laser resurfacing now because going to army but will consult my doctor first . . . been plauging me for years . . . i seen my peers face heal so well yet mine isn't healing . . . i wonder why . . . stupid hormones . . . no matter what i will get it treated . .
Mum and Dad has been very happy since i started opening up to them i guess . . . yesterday night when walking home i saw their lorry driving off the carpark . . . i walk towards their direction and
Mum said : where did you go ?
Me : Oh i went to the gym in the morning then go out with friends .
Me : Stay at home also nothing to do .
Mum : ( Smile ) Haha...climbing the stairs home ?
Me : Ya .
Mum : Ok . . ( Smile ). .( drove off )~
I wonder whats her conversation with Dad after they drove off. . . Deep inside i realise the one i need was them . . . all along i was seeking for them . . . i'm not like some fortunate kids who got their Mum or Dad who spend weekends with them. . . before my Mum quit being a housewife i always run to the kitchen with my notebook asking her to teach me mathematics . . . stuff like 196 / 12 = ? when shes cooking . . . when i'm sick i would refuse to take medication and being a boy i would run about . . . my mum would wrestle me to the ground and force me to take the medication . . . by age 7 both of them went to work together from morning 5 am till wee hours in the night . . . i was left in the care of my Grandmother . . . i use to wake up at 5 am and run to their room to find them not there . . . at age 7 . . . i only cry and call out for my mother . . . as i grow older they employ a maid to take care of us about age 9 i think . . . since then i feel like i had no parents . . . for no reason i would get angry easily at them when they ask me where i go . . . because to me i no longer feel they care . . . i grew up being a bad tempered kid . . . not being love not being cared for . . . i desperately tried to filled this void i have . . . with other things
Eventually i lost sense of that pain . . . only to realise it was there all the time . . . so when i had a girlfriend she was my everything . . . the pilliar of my life . . . inside me that void was filled . . . at least thats how i felt . . . things turn sour after sometime and its over . . . i will give everything in exchange for her . . . i crumble . . . i fell . . . heavier this time . . . to realise that if i do not understand what the main problem is i will forever be pinning for her which i feel will never be possible again . . .
"When you reach out your hand to me i just cried so hard . . . i realise the one i'm missing was you" thats my mother . . . i'm refering to . . . and i've come to understand much more . . . just have to take better care of my parents now . . . thats all that matter .
Gf ? Haha who doesn't want one but now i guess isn't my time yet . . . slowy ba . . . such things cannot be rush or forced . ^>^ Let nature takes its course . . .
Off to go search for my jacket . . . and stuff in J8 at the same time go see Hao Jie Mei ^.^ Then visit Grandmother . . .
Folks take care . . . Upcoming event Chalet for BC(M) and BC(F) I will be the coordinator . . . please support ^.^
Friday, July 15, 2005
Thursday, July 14, 2005
I'm really sick this time
Well i didn't turn up for work again . . . 2nd time . . . fever . . . cold . . . cough . . . sore throat i think my Boss pass it to me . . .
Got two new comers at my inspection side . . . both University student ..Gillian and Joanna .
Yesterday Contract Inspector Randall and Goh took us to the site to see the vacumn test of a tank after that they took us for a tea break at the canteen . . . during this time Randall spoke a lot to us . . .
He spoke of reality stuff or more like what this working society is like . . . . Money and Influence will induce power . . . it kind of bite into me . . . i was still dreaming . . . in my world of comfort .
"What is it that you want to gain from a person and always know your aim"
Sharon once said to me . . . those powerful people will not waste time talking to you if you have nothing for them . Why should they even waste time on you ?
I told Randall " why make your self so unhappy by trying to lift another person up "
Goh : It will help to make your life easier
Randall : You need to mix around both good and bad people . . . you will need their help
at times.
Inside me : Is this how everything function in life in reality ? I use to believe about just being happy . . . easily content and it cost me a lot or rather cost me someone.
If this is how the real world is about then i must guard myself from everything . . . when speaking to them i found that they were wearing a mask . . . to shield their weakness . Its hard for me to grab who they really are . . . adults . . . feeling isn't so important to them . . . other things matter more . . . too much empathy i have . . . i wonder where i can rest in this world . . . if i become like them one day . . . i would have to lose this empathy i had for people . . . i'm too emotional to be like them . Well i not going to think so much about what they say anymore but i know their words are true . . .
^.^ I'm still looking for the one who can share my happiness and sadness with . . . maybe someday she would appear in front of me . . .
Got two new comers at my inspection side . . . both University student ..Gillian and Joanna .
Yesterday Contract Inspector Randall and Goh took us to the site to see the vacumn test of a tank after that they took us for a tea break at the canteen . . . during this time Randall spoke a lot to us . . .
He spoke of reality stuff or more like what this working society is like . . . . Money and Influence will induce power . . . it kind of bite into me . . . i was still dreaming . . . in my world of comfort .
"What is it that you want to gain from a person and always know your aim"
Sharon once said to me . . . those powerful people will not waste time talking to you if you have nothing for them . Why should they even waste time on you ?
I told Randall " why make your self so unhappy by trying to lift another person up "
Goh : It will help to make your life easier
Randall : You need to mix around both good and bad people . . . you will need their help
at times.
Inside me : Is this how everything function in life in reality ? I use to believe about just being happy . . . easily content and it cost me a lot or rather cost me someone.
If this is how the real world is about then i must guard myself from everything . . . when speaking to them i found that they were wearing a mask . . . to shield their weakness . Its hard for me to grab who they really are . . . adults . . . feeling isn't so important to them . . . other things matter more . . . too much empathy i have . . . i wonder where i can rest in this world . . . if i become like them one day . . . i would have to lose this empathy i had for people . . . i'm too emotional to be like them . Well i not going to think so much about what they say anymore but i know their words are true . . .
^.^ I'm still looking for the one who can share my happiness and sadness with . . . maybe someday she would appear in front of me . . .
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Thursday, July 07, 2005
A shocking news
Read the papers my dear friends ? or have you heard from the radio ? that a 16 year old boy jump to his death at his girlfriend HDB flat .
I was doing my usual filing work with YiJie and we were listening to radio and i happen to hear this .
What went wrong ? The girlfriend 17 year old wanted a break up with the boy but he cannot take it so he jump to his death . . . their relationship was 9 months if i wasn't wrong . So after listening to those psychaistrist i feel that its really true . . . when you cast your life into relationship your life revolves around him/her alone only . . . you will definately feel the loss of everything when that person leave you eventually . Forlorn of all hope . . . love . . . care . . everything . . life become meaningless for you . I can understand how this guy feel . . . i had that experience before and it was really tough in the begining . . . so i'm still picking up things slowly . The mum of this guy must be feeling utter depressed . . . miserable you should say . . . I feel sorry for him really . . . there is a chance for him to win the girl back if he is alive or even meet other girl but now . . . he did not see anything after the breakup . . . all he could see is darkness and eternal lonliness .
My words to him if i was there in front of him
" Life is a gift to each and everyone . . . should you fall and hurt yourself badly . . . i will be there to pull you out no matter how long it takes . . . you may have made mistake in this relationship but that doesn't mean you cannot become a better person . . . it may be tough but time heals . . . life can still be beautiful without a relationship . . . you will meet the right one in time to come . . . trust me"
My advice would be : A breakup may not be a bad thing in life . . it will make you understand more about yourself and become a better person . Though its always hard to take that very step but you must look far out into life and not just infront of you. Life is never smooth sailing you have to taste a lot of colours in life in order to appreciate the beauty of life. Letting go isn't such a bad thing . . . this is just a phase of life each and everyone of us go through . . . always look beyond whats infront of you . . .
Mum : "hey i heard that laser surgey for the face cost 5k ! but its ok son you go do it i pay first ! next time earn back pay me . ( smile ) "
My mother is wonderful . . . as usual i notice her smile ever since she held my hand . . .
Love isn't about being there always . . . love has to be felt . . . care and love goes hand in hand
Initiative plays a role . . . to feel love you need to care . . . you don't care how would you love
It comes from inside and not from outside . . . its just there sometimes without haing you to do anything . . .
Take care folks
I was doing my usual filing work with YiJie and we were listening to radio and i happen to hear this .
What went wrong ? The girlfriend 17 year old wanted a break up with the boy but he cannot take it so he jump to his death . . . their relationship was 9 months if i wasn't wrong . So after listening to those psychaistrist i feel that its really true . . . when you cast your life into relationship your life revolves around him/her alone only . . . you will definately feel the loss of everything when that person leave you eventually . Forlorn of all hope . . . love . . . care . . everything . . life become meaningless for you . I can understand how this guy feel . . . i had that experience before and it was really tough in the begining . . . so i'm still picking up things slowly . The mum of this guy must be feeling utter depressed . . . miserable you should say . . . I feel sorry for him really . . . there is a chance for him to win the girl back if he is alive or even meet other girl but now . . . he did not see anything after the breakup . . . all he could see is darkness and eternal lonliness .
My words to him if i was there in front of him
" Life is a gift to each and everyone . . . should you fall and hurt yourself badly . . . i will be there to pull you out no matter how long it takes . . . you may have made mistake in this relationship but that doesn't mean you cannot become a better person . . . it may be tough but time heals . . . life can still be beautiful without a relationship . . . you will meet the right one in time to come . . . trust me"
My advice would be : A breakup may not be a bad thing in life . . it will make you understand more about yourself and become a better person . Though its always hard to take that very step but you must look far out into life and not just infront of you. Life is never smooth sailing you have to taste a lot of colours in life in order to appreciate the beauty of life. Letting go isn't such a bad thing . . . this is just a phase of life each and everyone of us go through . . . always look beyond whats infront of you . . .
Mum : "hey i heard that laser surgey for the face cost 5k ! but its ok son you go do it i pay first ! next time earn back pay me . ( smile ) "
My mother is wonderful . . . as usual i notice her smile ever since she held my hand . . .
Love isn't about being there always . . . love has to be felt . . . care and love goes hand in hand
Initiative plays a role . . . to feel love you need to care . . . you don't care how would you love
It comes from inside and not from outside . . . its just there sometimes without haing you to do anything . . .
Take care folks
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
I found this somewhere . . . take a moment to read
A girl in love asked her boyfriend.
Girl: Tell me. Who do you love most in this world?
Boy: You, of course!
Girl: In your heart, what am I to you?
The boy thought for a moment and looked intently in her eyes and said,
Boy: "You are my rib. It was said that God saw that Adam was lonely, during his sleep, God took one of Adam's rib and created Eve. Every man has been searching for his missing rib, only when you find the woman of your life, you'll no longer feel the lingering ache in your heart."
After their wedding, the couple had a sweet and happy life for a while.However, the youthful couple began to drift apart due to the busy schedule of life and the never-ending worries of daily problems, their life became mundane.All the challenges posed by the harsh realities of life began to gnaw away their dreams and love for each other. The couple began to have more quarrels and each quarrel became more heated.
One day, after the quarrel, the girl ran out of the house. At the opposite side of the road, she shouted, "You don't love me!"
The boy hated her childishness and out of impulse, retorted,
"Maybe, it was a mistake for us to be together! You were never my missing rib!"
Suddenly, she turned quiet and stood there for a long while.
He regretted what he said but words spoken are like thrown away water, you can never take it back. With tears, she went home to pack her things and was determined in breaking-up.
Before she left the house, "If I'm really not your missing rib, please let me go." She continued, "It is less painful this way.Let us go on our separate ways and search for our own partners."
Five years went by...He never remarried but he had tried to find out about her life indirectly. She had left the country and back. She had married a foreigner and divorced. He felt anguished that she never waited for him.
In the dark and lonely night, he lit his cigarette and felt the lingering ache in his heart. He couldn't bring himself to admit that he was missing her.
One day, they finally met. At the airport, a place where there were many reunions and good byes. He was going away on a business trip. She was standing there alone, with just the security door separating them.
She smiled at him gently.
Boy: How are you?
Girl: I'm fine. How about you? Have you found your missing rib?
Boy: No.
Girl: I'll be flying to New York in the next flight.
Boy: I'll be back in 2 weeks time. Give me a call when you are back. You know my number. Nothing has changed.
With a smile, she turned around and waved good bye.Good bye...
One week later, he heard of her death. She had perished in New York, in the event that shocked the world.Midnight, once again, he lit his cigarette. And like before, he felt the lingering ache in his heart. He finally knew. She was the missing rib that he had carelessly broken.
Wenhao : Its funny how people come to learn that they were wrong after so long . . . . as i had mention before the decision you made today may not be a right one tomorrow . . .
The medication effect is weak ! i don't feel tired at all . . . >.<
Sick
I'm down . . . tired ! I didn't went to work today because i feel so dizzy when i woke up ! I guess partly is because i did not have enough sleep lately plus last night i seriously can't get to sleep which i don't know why . . .
Now i must go down to polyclinic to get MC for my supervisor.
Life has been rather smooth sailing for quite some time . . . yet smooth sailing journey also means that i feel kind of lonely at times . . . Well i guess this is just a phase of life too . . .
Is this fate or is this destiny ? I wonder . . . what the future has for me . . . i hope to graduate soon from poly . . . i just wish to leave this place as soon as possible to start another new phase of my life . . . who will i meet ? who will i end up with ? I dare not think about it anymore . . . its beyond my control how things could happen right in front of you . . . before you can even react
changes would have been made . . .
Two more days to go . . . i'm looking forward to weekends . . . to go out with friends . . .
I'm tired . . . but yet my heart never rest . . . why . . . . . .
Now i must go down to polyclinic to get MC for my supervisor.
Life has been rather smooth sailing for quite some time . . . yet smooth sailing journey also means that i feel kind of lonely at times . . . Well i guess this is just a phase of life too . . .
Is this fate or is this destiny ? I wonder . . . what the future has for me . . . i hope to graduate soon from poly . . . i just wish to leave this place as soon as possible to start another new phase of my life . . . who will i meet ? who will i end up with ? I dare not think about it anymore . . . its beyond my control how things could happen right in front of you . . . before you can even react
changes would have been made . . .
Two more days to go . . . i'm looking forward to weekends . . . to go out with friends . . .
I'm tired . . . but yet my heart never rest . . . why . . . . . .
Monday, July 04, 2005
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