What i must do . . .

I've posted enough pictures and crap a lot in my last few entries . . .

I've decided what some of the things i wan to achieve . . .

Build a great body ^.^
Learn guitar . . .
Finish my attachement and school with flying colours . . .
Forage bonds with my friends . . .
Repaint my room and change the windows . . . . plus new desk
Finish all the game titles which i have yet to complete before i get PS3

For my Face ! I decided not to go for laser resurfacing now because going to army but will consult my doctor first . . . been plauging me for years . . . i seen my peers face heal so well yet mine isn't healing . . . i wonder why . . . stupid hormones . . . no matter what i will get it treated . .

Mum and Dad has been very happy since i started opening up to them i guess . . . yesterday night when walking home i saw their lorry driving off the carpark . . . i walk towards their direction and
Mum said : where did you go ?
Me : Oh i went to the gym in the morning then go out with friends .
Me : Stay at home also nothing to do .
Mum : ( Smile ) Haha...climbing the stairs home ?
Me : Ya .
Mum : Ok . . ( Smile ). .( drove off )~

I wonder whats her conversation with Dad after they drove off. . . Deep inside i realise the one i need was them . . . all along i was seeking for them . . . i'm not like some fortunate kids who got their Mum or Dad who spend weekends with them. . . before my Mum quit being a housewife i always run to the kitchen with my notebook asking her to teach me mathematics . . . stuff like 196 / 12 = ? when shes cooking . . . when i'm sick i would refuse to take medication and being a boy i would run about . . . my mum would wrestle me to the ground and force me to take the medication . . . by age 7 both of them went to work together from morning 5 am till wee hours in the night . . . i was left in the care of my Grandmother . . . i use to wake up at 5 am and run to their room to find them not there . . . at age 7 . . . i only cry and call out for my mother . . . as i grow older they employ a maid to take care of us about age 9 i think . . . since then i feel like i had no parents . . . for no reason i would get angry easily at them when they ask me where i go . . . because to me i no longer feel they care . . . i grew up being a bad tempered kid . . . not being love not being cared for . . . i desperately tried to filled this void i have . . . with other things

Eventually i lost sense of that pain . . . only to realise it was there all the time . . . so when i had a girlfriend she was my everything . . . the pilliar of my life . . . inside me that void was filled . . . at least thats how i felt . . . things turn sour after sometime and its over . . . i will give everything in exchange for her . . . i crumble . . . i fell . . . heavier this time . . . to realise that if i do not understand what the main problem is i will forever be pinning for her which i feel will never be possible again . . .

"When you reach out your hand to me i just cried so hard . . . i realise the one i'm missing was you" thats my mother . . . i'm refering to . . . and i've come to understand much more . . . just have to take better care of my parents now . . . thats all that matter .

Gf ? Haha who doesn't want one but now i guess isn't my time yet . . . slowy ba . . . such things cannot be rush or forced . ^>^ Let nature takes its course . . .

Off to go search for my jacket . . . and stuff in J8 at the same time go see Hao Jie Mei ^.^ Then visit Grandmother . . .

Folks take care . . . Upcoming event Chalet for BC(M) and BC(F) I will be the coordinator . . . please support ^.^