I shouldn't be complaining its tough ... i should be grateful i had a chance to study in NTU . But then again i keep having that feeling i cannot make it . Its not an imaginary fear . I've been trying to understand everything that's being taught . I stay back in school to do tutorials , i take down notes and i forced myself to stay awake to read no matter how tired i am . Yet with all these i'm lagging behind ... very badly . How ? Everyone says i can make it ... i know its an encouragement . But i know deep down i may not make it ... i'm in a boat thats sinking and i'm the only one who can scoop out the water . Only i'm sure of the extend of the problem i'm facing .... most say i'm too stressed out ... but hello ! i won't even be saying about these for weeks if i can really cope ... if anyone just by being hardworking can accomplish this then EVERYONE can get a good degree ... you need to be a bit gifted in study to excel in it ... I'm not blaming anyone ... i'm just nagging here ... just trying to find a place to vent things ... i just want to vent it out ....
I had that stupid idea of going into fire fighting if i cannot make it ... LOL but its true ... suddenly that idea came into my head ...
I wish i had someone .... somone to tell me that its really fine to fail at times .... someone to tell me its ok to cry and its just a matter of picking yourself up after i fall .... someone who really understand the fear i'm going through .... someone to just tell me that everything will be fine in the end ...
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