I thought i had understood the stuff ... and i tried to attempt the tutorials ... i sat there for 4 hours ... refering to whatever notes i had ... i couldn't solve it ... i couldn't write a single line of formula ... then i feel like its the end for me .... no one at home ... my desk flooded with notes ... in the night where it rained heavily i waited for Mum and Dad to come home to have my dinner , i'm feeling that scared and lonely . I tried ... but i can't solve anything ... nothing ... it makes me feel like i can't get anything done anymore and all that i'm good for is nothing ... I don't know who to go to ... who can tell me what i should do ? ... i know no one could ... but i'm so lost now ...
I told Mum ... i may want to withdraw if i can't make it this semester ... i don't wish to see their hard earn cash go down the drain ... then i told her ... i have no clue what i should do after that . She tell me to study hard ... just do whatever i can and don't make such a decision so soon . Then i just sat there looking at my notes again ... She would turn around and look at how i was doing once a while ... but still in the end i gave up trying to solve ... i just went straight to bed ... hopping that when i sleep all my worries will be gone ... when i woke up everything just came rushing back into my head ... and here i am ... trying to find a place to hide from everything ... i go no solution to them ... this is just a place to pour my heart out ... i don't know what will happen next ... i really don't know . Not that i'm giving up ... i think i'm taking it too hard till i can't breathe ... if not i think i might just drop dead ... i need to let my head clear a bit ...
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