You're different . . . .

Again . . . i did not turn up for class . . . basically i find the morning lecture is of no use to me . . . guess i will turn up when its about the exam . . .

Reach school at 12 noon had my lunch with my classmates at FoodJunction . . . I didn't speak much ^^Some of them went to class first and some went to get their transcript . . . it didn't really bother me much actually . . . so left me and Felicia . . . So i asked if shes waiting for anyone ? It seems to me she is . . . but it wasn't so we left for class . . .

She asked : How are you ?
Me : I'm the same . . . nothing great ^^

Me: why ?
She: (Can't remember what she said but i think is something about not talking for some time)

She: You've changed
Me: Is that so . . .

She: You different from the time i knew who you are . . . you seems to be more wary and cautious of people . . . protecting yourself . . .
Me: Is that good or bad ?

She: ( I think she said its not a bad thing to protect yourself )
Me: I guess so . . . I'm different now . . . i don't speak much at all

She: Its good that you know
Me: I can't change anything

She: Its not that you can't . . . its you who decide to change or not . . .
Me: I suppose you're right . . .

Conversation ended as we entered the class . . .

I knew i had changed . . . i'm so different from who i really was back then . . . perhaps its due to some experiences which left me not wanting to speak much . . . tired ? I'm better now definately but maybe the silence isn't good . . . but what should i say ? I'm observing people everyday . . . thats what i do . . . just had nothing to say . . . anime ? games ? cooking ? food ?

People can come to me with anything . . . i can listen . . . ^^

Kenny mention that i'm always absorbing what people say but never really reply much . . . to some extend he is correct . . . but to them they knew me well enough . . . i'm just thinking ^^

I was telling my sister i'm going to get a social worker certificate . . . she was like -_- . . . Even Esther said that i can't even help my ownself . . . how am i suppose to help others deal with their problems . . . Yes yes i know . . . the r/s wound is always always there and i should not dwell on it and i should not hope for anyting or try . . . yes yes i get you folks . . . but then again . . . it really was me who made the decision to try . . . but then again i'm slowly moving away from "her" . . . i'm not getting the right response either so i guess . . . theres no more reason to continue anyway . . .

Advance driving theory test tomorrow . . . better study now and i guess i might be late for morning class again ^^ . . . what a bad habit . . . bad habit . . . really bad . . .

I got nothing to say . . . ^^ Silence :P Its sort of contradicting when i can blog so much when i say i got nothing to say . . .