Does it matter ... yes it does ..

I shouldn't be blogging now ... but oh well ... i mugged heavily for the past few weeks ... to prepare for the exam ... which i think i am pretty confident with ... but i was wrong ... 4 question 2 hrs 30 min ... i had to struggle ... struggle because i had to make sure i pass ... the question was out of the norm ... Should have expected that but the vast disparity was overwhelming ... I had that feeling of walking out during the examination ... this is the only 2nd paper ... i had 5 more to go and its going to be tougher ... I hope i don't have to repeat this module ... the whole 2 hours leave me badly battered mentally ... just feel like giving up ... but i can't ... i know i can't give up ... theres too much on the other end of the scale ... this is like the last semester where i had to study like no tomorrow ...

I hope can clear ^^ ....

all is not lost ...

1.25 months to go !

>.< EXAMS ARE COMING WOOT !

1.25 MONTHS TO GO .... and this semester will end happily i guess ... hope i won't screw up and the revision starts now ...

Its quite a tough 3 month this time ... though i was expecting it to be slightly lighter than last semester but it turns out to be twice the workload ...

Hope i pull through again ^^ and it will be HOLIDAYS YEAH !

Until then i probably don't have much to write here ... wait for the holidays again ^^

^^ take care people and keep fit ok !

You never change your views ?

We had our obligations and you had yours ... why can't you understand something as simple as that ? Are the rest giving you pressure ? If so why can't you tell us ? It isn't fair to you but that doesn't mean you should be unfair to us . You don't have to be the one taking the hit , i am old enough to protect you from anything ... just tell me . Theres reason for us not being able to go yet u simply brush our reasons aside accusing us of having fun . It only proves to us one thing ... we never grew up in your eyes and the same for the rest too . What about the rest ? those who couldn't go ? Do they HAVE better reasons then us both ? I don't wish to compare or get into an argument with you because there is nothing to gain from it . We had choices in life and we simply choose to move forward and take care of the important things first ... please understand .

mm . . . .

I often see people say the more failure you encounter the better you become in dealing with future encounters . What if all your encounters were doomed to fail ? Will you still be optimistic about your future ?

I supposed that sometimes we say such things, the main purpose is to pacify our troubled minds. Otherwise how do we continue moving on right ? But then again , if shits happen more than you can take i doubt it will be sufficient .

Sometimes my mind wanders off and then i start thinking ... why are certain people so oblivious to others feelings . Do you encounter such people in your daily life ? Don't you feel like giving them the shit they are doing to you ? I do feel like giving them a piece of my mind but i doubt they can take it ... and its probably not beneficial for me to do that ... If i was 8-10 years younger i might throw a chair at them ^^ . Will be turning 24 in like less than 6 months ... looking back at the time i throw the chair at Daniel and the me now ... woa still look as fierce but no more fire -_- sometimes its rather pointless to get mad at something when you have no control over it ... just walk away ... just keep quiet ... just think about other things ^^

But then again ... why are certain people so oblivious to others ?? Don't they have feelings ? Probably they have yet to experience shit ... Perhaps down the road they will understand one day ... I suppose this is part of growing up ... part and parcel of life ~

Goodbye my beloved Grandma~

She passed away last Saturday ... a few hours before we could all celebrate my nephew's 1 month old. She had lived her life to the fullest without regrets . Despite the pain she was going through ,her last moment was a peaceful painless one ... everyone was beside her .

Today she was cremated and i'm feeling a bit empty ... its hard for me to accept the fact that my Sundays would be different from now on. Its hard in everyway ... but all i can say is if she was around, she will always tell me " Its alright ... nevermind about it ^^ "

I don't need sympathy from anyone, because its unlikely anyone will have the same feelings as what i am feeling now ... I'm not trying to be mean here, but i think you all should know it that unless you are the one going through the actual situation, its almost impossible to share the same feeling as the person ... All i am asking is ... don't ask me about it and don't tell me to take care ... i don't think its necessary ... everyone is being kind and i know that ... the reason why i never tell many people is because i just want to go through this quietly ... its nothing glamarous , its nothing much to brag about ...

So peeps out there , thank you for showing your concern ... ^^ i know you peeps care but its enough ... let me come to terms with it myself ... ^^ only i know whats best for myself ^^ .

Have a nice weekend people ... and don't tag my board for this entry .

Still the same ^^

Sharon got married just recently .... ^^ Grats Grats :P 09092009 Check out the facebook if you aren't aware .

So who is going to be next in line ^^

Mm... whats going on lately for me ... its still the same old mugging every single day . Except i take a break once a while to sleep longer to watch movies with the peeps or qianying ... other than that ... it will be books books and more books ... can't seem to get anything right at this moment ... i guess its pretty normal since this is my 3rd semester in school ...

Haven seen some of the folks for a while already ... just a bit more and its holiday ^^ 8 more weeks to go and exam will begin ^^

Week 2 End ...~ Current week 3

I'm not very free to blog or write anything here ... because 90% of my time were spent in school doing tutorials and trying to understand what the Drs~ are teaching .

So week 3 now ... 10 more weeks to exam ... University life is very hectic ..~ the moment you slow down you will be overwhelmed easily or if you are unlucky crushed by those strange formulas ...

My last saturday burn because kenna call back to do ippt ~ I CLEAR LIAO LOR ... silver some more ... but some itchy backside must call us all back ... waste time ... but i still clear it 2nd time with a silver again ... this time i clock 10.37 second ^^ for 2.4km~ 10 seconds faster than my previous run but well its not gold so the incentives won't come ... unless i can shave that 45 seconds away lol ... but quite impossible unless i train everyday >.< never mind ... that can be shelved aside ...

Currently is busy with school work mainly >.<

Why my holiday soooo short ~

School has begun ~

Week 1 will end when you read this ... yup 13 weeks of school and exam ...

My 1 semester before i go for attachment and then return for the final year ...

I wish this semester will pass quickly and painlessly ...

I'm taking 7 subjects ... and tough luck 6 cores are all calculation intensive ... all about water engineering stuff ...

So its work again ^^ but its better to suffer now than regret for life ...

i just want to finish this ^^

So i probably won't be posting anymore post here for a while ...

And my blogger seems to return to normal already ^^

I try to upload photos during the weekends ba .~

Doesn't work ~

Something is pretty wrong with my blogger ... but oh well ...

Pretty busy ! ... Stayed at Gleneagles hospital overnight to be nightwatch for Grandma because apparently only the maid and me quite free to do so ... everyone was afriad the cancer had return but the CT scan showed every part of her is healthy , her heart specialist also say her heart is in very healthy condition . Overall to say she is healthy ... the fact she cannot walk and weaken so much is because of age and the rate of nutrient loss is too fast . So she will be returning today and tomorrow i will be going over to see her . Because she has always been walking a lot thats why only now her muscle mass starts to decrease at such an alarming rate ... Trust me if you don't exercise and take ur fitness now for granted i bet that you won't be able to walk very well at age 60 onwards . Not to mention other shitty old aged illness that comes along with age . Grandma eat very lightly and at age 80++ going to hit 90 soon the blood vessels are 68% clogged . To think her diet from young till now was vegetables and fish ... and she exercise a lot ... it can still be clogged ~ . The doctor says u can eat right exercise right ... but the vessels will be clogged over the years no matter what ... not eating right will just speed up the clogging process .

Quite true ... Its like a pipe line ... over months and years the pipe surface will be deposited with bacteria cells which will grow .... algae and stuff ... the difference is ... its easier to clean a pipe than blood vessles ... She has to take special protein supplement and other nutrients drink . Maybe will be installing some exercising machine for her at home too .

... i couldn't stand watching the nurse draw blood from her ... the agony shown on her face was quite painful to me ... i had to walk away ... just to wipe those tears away ... and when she can't get to sleep i will just go next to her and hold her hands ... she will frown at me and say " hao~ your hands very cold " , I just told her to get some sleep even though its at 3 am~ ... time doesn't seems to matter much now ...

If you ask me does she have any regrets ? I will say she has none ... and shes still worried if i had eaten or not ...

If you ask me ... do i have any regrets ? I will tell you i have a very big one ... that is not recording more videos of her ...

2 weeks more

Argh 2 more weeks and school term will begin ... after a long 3 month ++ break for almost everyone except me . Because i had to go back and finish my term in the army so now i only get to enjoy 1 month of undisrupted break ... which is going to end .

Running ... movies ... going out with the folks ... I find that my time pass by pretty fast . But i guess all these aren't important eventually ...

I've come to realise something which i regret a lot ... i should have capture more videos of my visit to Grandma house ... the people there and most importantly her . Shes pretty ill now ... unable to even sit on wheelchair ... shes still healthy but weaken a lot due to age ... 80++ there are no underlying sickness or anything ... more time will be spent over there for me ... because she has taken very good care of me all these years ... ^^ Won't go much into that because it will become very emo for me haha ...

I suppose i will update more in the next entry after ... some outings ^^ I wonder will there be a steamboat coming up ?

Car Boot Sale

This is the carboot sale at the BIG SPLASH . Zhiyang and Nigel selling their transformers . Zhiyang's Sister and Cousin selling their clothing and accessories.

Qian Ying came to give support and take a look too ^^ and also let me ferry her around the ECP in the double seater bicycle.

Ernest and Emeris came halfway to give their support . They left a while later to go for their blading session .

Hengky and Weiyang join us for dinner in the evening ... ^^

mmm ...

Well ... ^^ I've been at my grandma house the past few days ... pop in to see her ... After the morning session with Qianying ... i went to accompany her ... while walking in ... i saw aunt pushing her around the estate ... she became wheelchair bound 3-4 weeks ago ... the pain in her leg made walking impossible . Her will to live seems going downslope as observed by cousin ... so everyday someone will be visiting her ... cooking her porridge ... getting what she wants .

She love to walk ... she love to be occupied but being bounded onto a wheelchair takes everything away ... she become more weak and frail as time passes ... she keeps looking down all the time ... so we try to talk to her ... to keep her going . Her main worries will still be her children and grandchildren ... hope she will get better ^^ theres still a lot of things to be done ~

80% Groupies BBQ session

Why titled as 80% ? because we are short of 20% attendence ... and i'm deeply sorry for those who were not called up ... because this session was decided very last minute and not that you are forgotten but don't worry there will be another steamboat session organise by Nigel ...~

Zhiyang , Puiyee , Ee Mei , Allan and Me went earlier with all the prepared stuff for this BBQ session ~ ... Actually we had a lot of food wastage and Ernest even brought along 4 big Durians ^^ It was pretty good ~

Kenny feeling guilty for not being of much help so he took up the role to take over BBQing the food~

The Organizerzzz for this session ... Uncle Aw and Ee Mei ~

The ladies who attended this session ^^

Pretty Fun~Lets have another gathering with everyone in it ... ~ this one not enough haha ~

Oliver's 23rd Birthday Steamboat ^^

Some of the pictures for Oliver's 23rd Birthday which takes place at his condo function room ...

These are the Peeps from NTU ... Mainly some random Photos taken from all the shots you can view most of them on my face book ^^

Steamboat ^^

Lesle drag the whole dustbin into the function room

Don't ask me why i take a picture with Qianying together with a dustbin beside me ...

Oliver the Birthday Man ~

Now i must use another method to upload photos ~

We travel to Whampo Blk 90 to eat ... Basically its around Kenny's old home suppose to try the food from Yummy Guides but the stalls were either close or just starting up ... But either way I try to get some of the better ones ahah so to feed her properly ...~

Smile Smile only haha~

All the food for less than 8 Bucks ^^ Enough to feed 2 person to full though ahah

There we are ^^ At night while on the way to get her home haha ... I wonder why she look so pale in this picture ... If you click her blog you will see the pig face tsk~

Theres a BBQ going on during Monday and Tomorrow will be Oliver's Party ... i wonder what are we having for steamboat ...

I've been having headaches on the left side behind the ear ... its like some strain or pulling force there ... couldn't get rid of it . Since the holiday starts ... it comes and goes ... and i doubt its migraine ... I don't have it and for someone so relaxing now ... why is that even possible haha ... It drains my energy ~ everytime i have it ... and i must sleep to get rid of it ... maybe when you pass the age of 21 all sorts of nonsense comes to you ... your knee starts to ache ... your shin hurts after running too long ... you get headaches for no reason ... you lose intrest in things you like to do when you were younger ... i cannot stick to watching tv or playing games for more than 1 hour ... i will either get bored or feel very tired ahaha ... mind you i do run 2-3 times a week so not exercising isn't the cause ... i drink milk everyday ... and eat apples every night ... apart from those food tours with my girl there ... i never eat much at home ... mostly is cooked by mum for dinners or else i cook pasta myself ... Lack of vitamins ? Lack of water ? can't be ... I ruled out eveyr possible reasons haha except that shit happens when you grow older ... Maybe its time to go for a check up to iron out the issues ... And if i haven't been seeing you peeps for a while please forgive me if i forget your name ... its either i am suffering from dementia or i brain is seriously not working right ... i cannot remember the names of the people whom i use to know ... scary huh ... maybe i might forget yours one day ... don't be angry because i didn't mean to ... lots of white hair coming out as well ... tsk ... whats going on really ... i will have to find out for myself ...

Grandma hasn't been well since i haven't visit her for 2 weeks ... from walking to being wheeled chair bound ... imagine that ... T_T her body so frail and thin that it hurts to even hold her hand ... she barely remember me even though she seem me quite frequently ... the Doctor says she lack of nutrients ... but well she can't consume much due to her past operation which removes a porttion of her stomach away due to cancer ... the adsorption rate is lower despite the food she gets ... no oily stuff for her as it will give her very bad diahrrea ... Luckily everyone takes time off to visit her to make sure she doesn't feel lonely ... watching tv with her or just talking to her ... its all that matters .

Again all these just remind us that time doesn't wait for you ... they don't give you the chance to redo things once you've done it ... if there are things you need to do and there are things you need to correct ... do it now or you may never have the chance . Make the decision that you feel is right for you ... and not base on others decision or influence ... its your life ... you only get to live once ... i always try to remind myself this so that i don't do stupid things or say unecessary things to people ... if its not beneficial then it probably won't be in the future ...

have you been smiling ? or have you been crying ...

Ding Ding

Ah~ I tried to upload photos but i not sure why it didn't appear at all ...

Ok i try to get the photos up before i blog >.<

Clementi ? Jurong East ?

Woo ...

Today went to eat the food listed in the Yummy Guide ....

Qianying and I went to clementi to eat the Wonton mee and the porridge ... Total cost is only $8.20 ... The wonton mee portions pretty big ... and you get 5 pieces of Wonton ~ ... qianying say the charsiew a bit hard ... but i think mine was alright ... haha and the porridge was pretty ok too . If you don't like those porridge which had been added with lots of salty elements i think you can try this one ^^ Both the stalls are at just at the market beside the MRT station ...

Afternoon we walk around and pretty much nothing to buy even though i wanted to make her try on some clothing haha ... and we tried the DimSum ... mm . . . the JiuCai Dumpling NICE ... but i realise they got branches all around so a bit silly to travel there to eat it . Its at Jurong East by the way haha ^^

Will be going on another trip with her ^^ Forgot to take more pictures , if not i can post the pictures of the food here haha ...

Kaiwen's 21st B`day BBQ

NTU Peeps with Birthday girls ^^
Qiang Ying and meeeee ^^

Everyone from engineering ^^

Qian Ying with little boy ..>~ the little boy likes her

Avril ^^

Ding Ding ...

Another someone just pass away huh ... pretty unexpected ... and here i am to remind you peeps ... it may just happen to us ...

I wonder if everyone knows the time that they will die ... will they start living their lives ? will they stop those nonsense conflicts with one another ... and be more kind to each other ?

Will knowing when your time ends make a difference ... ?

Will you then start to do something ?

Nigel with the egg tarts ^^

Weiyang and Zhiyang with the burgers lol ... quite tasty

At ... the mall ...

The mee soto i ordered ...

Rare appearances ^^ Ex NDU Hengky :P He probably joining the biathalon ... with Nigel ..

The above picture is about the short trip to Malaysia to eat ... or rather to walk around .. ^^ Wasn't very successful because we kind of mess up the whole thing ahaha ... by getting lost ... :P Better luck next time ^^ Weiyang is leaving for Tokyo in July ... You guys want anything just let him know .