Sunday~

ZzzZzz . . .

Me : What you doing ?
Sister : Taking something . . .
Me : ZzzZzzZzz

My sister woke me up when she came into my room to take some stuff . . . the clock reads 12.30 pm . . . i had slept for 8 hours and i still feel so restless . . . check some mails and had some simple breakfast . . . top up the water canteen for my sister's hamster . . . and its already 2pm . . the warm afternoon made me even restless . . . tried to go back to sleep but then my mind suddenly filled with "her" i roll on the bed over and over again but still . . . i can't get to sleep . . .

I actually thought to myself . . . it has been so long since we parted our ways . . . i have not forgotten her one bit . . . not at all . . . 1 year has almost passed by and i'm still alive . . . i'm not sure why i still feel sad every now and then when i think of "her" . . . is she really that important ? i ask myself . . . sometimes i wish i could cry out loud and let those pain flushed out from inside me , but the tears will not fall . . . i can't describe the feeling when it happens . . . its like a vaccuum pulling your heart inwards consuming everything . . . it leaves me feeling so empty suddenly . . . lonliness ? its the warmth thats missing i guess . . . the rainbows are no longer colourful to me . . . its like a grey bridge that spans over the sky when it rains . . . do i even look at the sky now . . .

Sometimes when i think back . . . had i ended my life back then what would happen ? Would it change anything ? I guess not . . . it would only end my life which is quite a stupid thing to do . . . but yet again at least i don't have to feel anything anymore . . .

OK enough rambling . . . time to go out and enjoy ^^