Few more weeks to go . . .

Haha 3 more weeks and i'm off to tekong but before that i'm working for 2 weeks more . . . so my last week will be having "farewell" dinner lol . . .

So allow me to express my inner most feelings here . . . for i'm afriad i may not have the same mindset once i'm out from army . . . even if what i say may seems hopeless , naive or anything you readers can think of . . . its what i felt all along . . .

Yes perhaps some of you could sense it . . . i never allowed myself to erase her from within me .

I would reflect all the wrong moments and try to put myself in her shoes . . . thinking how i myself would feel , thinking what i should have said to her . . .

I can never describe my feelings right with words . . . i should have hug her when i wanted her close by me , instead of asking her to come to my side . . .

Somehow i still reflect back to that moment . . . i wish i had told her this before that "moment"

Me : "I'm sorry , I know i must have disappoint you . . . forgive me . . .
would you be willing to work with me again . . . "

Perhaps when i sense that something was wrong , i shouldn't be questioning her love for me but what have i done to keep us together . . . i didn't question myself at all . . . i was oblivious to my mistakes . . . i was wrong . . . and had i took the steps which i would take now . . . perhaps i would still be holding her . . .

Yes i miss her . . . and i know i still love her . . . ^^ sorry . . . i'm feeling like shit when i had to lie to people that i don't love her when i know i do . . . so don't pair me up with anyone for i don't feel for them like how i feel for her . . .