Once a while

Quite a while since i wrote anything here ...

This may go unnoticed ... but i guess its alright ...

I'm at the stage of worrying for the future expenses , housing , marriage , career .... the list never seems to end ... the worries never ceased ... but once a while i ask myself ... all this will not matter if tomorrow is your last day ... then why am i thinking and worrying so much .

First it does not help , second it creates sleepless night ... then i will feel extremely tired at work ... i will screw up the work ... my boss will screw me ... the director will hammer me ... the cycle goes on ... then i will be fired ... my life becomes a mess ... but the source of the problem came from me ...

I think this will happen if we don't set our priorities and our life's focus ... i guess its still considered alright to worry once a while , well who doesn't right ? But there has to be some form of solution generated from that worry ... meaning that worry should not be bottomless ... it should not be something which is endless which eventually it will just eat into you ... therefore ... if you cannot solve it ... forget about it ... if you can do something about it ... then just do what you can ... because life is really that simple ... I'm sure most people are doing something or trying to do something for their life's trouble ... and i think ... that is all we can do , because what else other than trying and doing what you can ? .. ... ... doing nothing will change nothing ^^ .

People worry because we want the best ... if you set a target beyond your means ... it becomes a problem rather than motivation ...

So be very clear with what you want ... if you are sure on what you want in life ... your actions will change together with your focus, then you will reach what you want in life eventually ... there is no promise to this ... the end result may be what you want ... it may not be what you want ... but it will definitely be better than where you are now

once a while ... think of where you are now ... wasn't it due to the decisions you made ages ago ^^ ....

Randoms

Got a job ... after so much thinking ... or rather i didn't have much choices at that point of time and it was like pressing myself to get a job ... social pressure ... i guess ...

So this is my 4th week already into the work ... and if you ask me ... my job pretty much requires a lot of PR skills than technical knowledge ... the work environment and people are some of the best i can say ... the compensation package for salary isn't all that great except that the benefits such as leave, dental is quite good ...

Well you can say that as long as you are good ... you will get the pay eventually ... i'm just afraid that i made the wrong choice ... but seriously who can tell me what is right other than myself ... if i myself don't even know what i want ... then who else would ? I don't wish to lock myself up and trapped ...

I know the ultimate reason or rather the goal i seek is to create the best family life ever ... because this is somewhat lacking for me ... because my parents had to work very hard to give me and my sister the education we need and also the financial support ...

One day i will be in their shoes too ... but i don't wish to miss out on the life ahead and the chance to have strong family/friends bonding ... but i also cannot earn too little ... otherwise i will be brooding over how to earn more money every single day ...

I think everyone wants such a scenario where u have enough to spend ... enough to save ... enough time to do what you like ... enough time for everything that matters in life ... but many people say its hard to achieve all of it ... i want to ... and i am trying to find out how ...

I guess giving myself 1 year in this current job would be a good assessment if i want this for my life ... i am questioning myself every now and then ... if this is the path i want ....

Vex .... Troubled .... Lost

As i approach my final 4 examination papers and my presentation for the final year projects ...
I am also nearing the end of my Uni education .... Which also means i have to make a decision to join the industry ...

I'm not sure if i will end up with a 2nd upper or a 2nd lower honours ... i'm pretty secured for a 2nd lower .... but i'm trying to get a 2nd upper ... because it offers more job opportunities ... most of my peers secured their jobs already ... and most of them are big companies ... the salaries are pretty decent and way above my expectation ...

While i'm brooding over where to focus on ... my peers walk ahead of me ... I'm still pretty lost ... its pretty scary actually ... because i'm afriad of entering the wrong industry ... and you become stagnant ... then you would be out of the rat race ...

I'm kind of lost at this stage ... i know my ultimate goals ... but i failed to plan for the process to achieve my goal ... and that ... is crippling me now ...

Graduating soon

Graduating soon ...

So many worries ...

Job ah Job ...

Ding Dong Ding Dong

2 more months to exam ! Study Hard People !

Some reflection ...

I'm quite emotional ... lots of feelings ... filled inside me ...
I know i won't be some great engineer or someone good in management ...
What i am studying ... i know it isn't my interests ... i am just pushing myself to do it ... because everyone else was doing it ... there wasn't much option ... for me ...

I know what i had wanted ... since a long time ago ... to be the pair of ears ... to heal wounded hearts ... i am sure it is much more fufilling for me than punching numbers on calculators or churning reports that never ceased to stop ...

I want to be that pair of ears ... the person to be there ... because there aren't many out there ...
I understood some of the common pain some others had experienced before ... maybe the journey to healing others is tough ... but the end result would definately be worth it ...

I know what i want ... like it was just meant to be ... i hope i get that job ... apart from having to work on saturday ^^ ... hope i will be shortlisted ...

2011 ~

Looks For jobs ...

Clear my FYP ...

Start Planning ... for the future ... house ... bla bla bla ...

Welcome to the working society ...

I will miss school life ... classmates and mugging books together is fun ...

Continue to smile ...

Continue to bond ...

For this shouldn't be the time we part ...

Contacts can still be maintain as we each pursue our path ... ( like i have any ... Ha )

Whats in store for me ?

Hope i get all As again ... so i can reach 2nd upper ... more doors will be open ^^

Raining and Exams ...

Yup i'm sitting for my examination in about a weeks time from the time this post is posted. Then very soon i will be left with my final semester and i will be entering the working society >.< hope i get a job !!!.

Oh i just want to say the rain today is pretty cooling and yeah ... just feel like saying something here haha .

I just want to share something ... i think its pretty important to keep looking at your spouse/gf/bf/husband/wife ... Maybe it sounds pretty dumb for me to mention this when everyone should know it ... When i say look ... i mean to " hear them emotionally and look at them physically"

But then one day ... you will forget that i did mention this ... and perhaps you will stop looking at them ... thats perhap one of the reason why relationship erodes away as time pass ... i think everyone is guilty of it and there is nothing wrong ... there is a tendency for everyone to take things for granted and only look for fault in people as and when we like just because we are unhappy with certain things ... but before we start blasting away at those closest to us ... i hope people will take a few seconds to think clearly who they are really looking at ... standing there right in front of you is that someone who had spent her/his lifetime with you ... so don't ever loose sight of that ... don't ever discredit what they had done ... perhaps with this ... you can avoid pretty much a lot of senseless arguments that meant nothing in the future yet could actually cut into the bonds you both shared ...

Just study every feature ... the eyes ... the ears ... the nose ... the .... .... .... try it ... you may just notice something very different ... maybe got new wrinkles ... ^^ but if you don't look now ... the changes will go un-noticed ... and so will any chance to bring you both closer ^^

AlrightZ ! Rainy days are simply the best yah !

Good Luck To NTU PEEPS A A A A A A !

Family , Friends , Future

Imagine you have a timer that tells you the day which you may "disappear" from the surface of the Earth to some place call Heaven ... Nirvana ... Sea of Stars. Tons of names actually for that ... but if have such a device , would you want it ? Some may think that its quite a burden to know of such event, create unecessary stress and many issues .

But does it ever cross your mind that , when you have such a gadget with you to inform you about the day your time is up, it would probably change the way you look at life ?

You probably wouldn't snap at those you hold dear so easily . You would try to spend more time with your friends to enjoy movies , games or even just talking over a cup of coffee . You would probably take more time off your computer screen to look at your Mum and Dad a little bit more. The fine wrinkles and greying hair that seems to appear on them more often , then you realise they could hardly hear you as they age.

How do you really make use of your finite time ? Turning 25 pretty soon , if you ask me what have i been doing ... i think i dare to tell you i've probably miss out a lot in life for the past 25 years ... so on average i still have like 55 years more to go , base on the mean lifespan . So 25 years of study 35 years of working ... i will be like 60 years old ... then i have like 20 years of life left if i'm still healthy and not senile ... i'll probably be too old to take roller coasters , going for late night suppers , running everyday , my friends may be too old to gather almost every weekend ... So ? i'm not going to waste the next 35 years chasing after material gains. Just to make sure i make enough to keep the family and myself going. I'll probably waste 35 years and likely regret on that .

Looking at people face to face and talking to them directly cannot be compared to "LOL" on those social network . You can't hear your friends laughter, the wrinkles they make when they smile too hard ... their facial expression ... their irritated look when you tease them ...

Does it occur to you that 15 years ago ... handphones were so alien to us ... pagers were the norm .... you still hung out with your friends ... talking over those phonecards operated phones ... when meeting up at one location is like some holy promises and no one will "put you aeroplane" by simply giving you a call to tell you they cannot make it .... somehow or rather ... i feel that its easy to overlook all these ... but as a reminder to myself and the folks who may read this ... don't forget that we don't have lifespan like elves or dwarfs who live hundred of years . Go for physical communication whenever possible and don't pass up on those gathering events ... who knows when the next one will be right ?

Love your old folks at home ... and love the folks around you ... Life is indeed precious ... and probably no words can explain it ... you have to experience it with the right attitude and the right actions ...

What is your dream ...

Hello folks ,

My blog isn't dead, its just that i am so busy with school work that i have no time to sit down and reach into my soul to write what i would like to share. I am staring at my work most of the time wondering how am i suppose to study to score in the exams so that my degree looks a bit more ShinY to capture the attention of my future employer. If you do not already know, i am currently in my 4th year doing a bachelor in environmental engineering. Sounds great & promising ? Thats what i thought so too when i saw the title of the course but it turns out that the prospect isn't that great when you talk about being empolyed. Let me tell you this, this isn't what i wanted. My dreams were more inclined towards socialogy or psychology, but i wasn't smart enough back then to realise the importance of going into JCs so that its easier for me to land in an Arts Faculty instead of an Engineering one. I prefer conversation to dispel people's fear , offering comfort , a listening ear when no one is willing to. Simply because i know how painful and lonely when you so much wanted someone to be around to listen to you but yet there isn't a single soul you can turn to. That is something i wish nobody has to go through , and i think its something worth every effort from me comparing to what i am doing now. Its a dream that i will try to fufill if possible in the future ... if its something you love doing ... you are very much likely to excel at it. What is your dream ? Do you like what you are doing now ? Lets not talk about regretting what you never did , because its over and you cannot turn time back . We lament at our past decisions for not accomplishing certain things but after complaining we must get back to the present and continue to move forward. Time is something which escapes even the most powerful and rich person, eventually your time will end so don't spend too much time harping on things you cannot change. Why not think about what you can do in the future to fufill something which you wanted to but not had the chance to. For me , i probably take some postgrad diploma if i have the chance to afterall if it cannot be my dream career , it can still be my hobby right ^^ .

So do you like what you are doing now ? If not , why don't you try looking at another perspective ... you might have some new understanding which might turn out to be better than what you think ... Being an engineer is not that bad ... as long as i have sufficient income to lead a peaceful life ... have a home ... going for simple dinner and movies ... some holidays once a while ... i think its pretty enjoyable ... i bet you for it ... Life's most enjoyable moments often doesn't cost you much ... Moments that warm your feelings up create the memories that will last you a life time ... when the time comes for you to recall your pasts ... these are the moments that will come to you ... and not how much cars, bags, shoes you own. Its not too late to discover this ... we all know it ... but we simply overlook it ... here is my reminder to you peeps ^^

Final year ~

School Starts tomorrow and i will officially be in the final year of U~ Finally after studying for like so many years ... but then again the fear of joining the pool of jobless people in the market is freaking me out haha ...

Hope i land a pretty normal job ... normal salary ... to enjoy my normal life ... so that i can build a normal family ^^

I'm a bit sick at the moment so this entry is short ... will be uploading USS pictures here as well ^^

Sunny Sunday ~

I've recently received an invitation to a friend's wedding reception then it occur to me that i've grown very much in age ... it seems as if time just went past, with me struggling to plan the future.

When i was a few years younger i would ask people how are they doing during those gathering session. But now i would ask them when are they going to get married . I couldn't figure out why i ask them such questions but i guess that its only natural for me to ask . A friend asked me how is it possible that people would be sure of the one they are currently dating would eventually be the best souldmates for them . I can only say that why choose to go into a relationship then only to end it eventually ... i think it pretty much turns you or the other person upside down inside. Every phase of your life you meet different kinds of people , those which may not appear intresting or appealing to you may suddenly appear at a later stage of life .

Does this mean you give up your current partner and trade them for someone better ?

Does that indicate to others that your partner isn't good enough for you anymore ?

Can you gurantee that the new partner would find you good enough eventually ?

All forms of relationships reaches a peak and settles down ... there are those with never ending excitement and romance but you have to work for it ... if you simply choose to have a new partner just to experience that thrill once again then eventually you would settle down into a marriage not because you want it ... because you're too old to be playing in the field ...

Somehow a safe person is never as intresting as those dangerous ones ... But then again ... what kind of love are you seeking ? what kind of person are you seeking ? If you seek the thrill now but yet you want those stable life later on ... its pretty hard to find but its not impossible though .

Of course ... unhealthy , abusive r/s ... you better get out of it ^^

Take care peeps

Big Walk ^^

Big Foot ^^

Both of us went to try out the Anlene Bone Health Check ^^

QianYing didn't make the cut and her score was moderate risk ~ low calcium~

Goodie Bag Collection for Big Walk . Extremely messy and crowded ....


Tada ! My Big Walk Mate ^^

I woke up at 5.30am to prepare for the Big Walk but the distance wasn't as long as i had expected it to be . It was pretty short and well you can say crowded and squeezy at some point but you do get to see the MBS and that DNA bridge ( Double Helix ) incompleted though ... Lots of construction going on so it kind of spoil the whole image ? ~ Maybe i will get Qianying to run with me soon hahah ^^ help to increase her bone mass :P

July 31st BPS gathering ... PEOPLE please check your email other wise my SmS limit will burst in no time , so sorry about the inconvinence if you don't like to check your mails .~

Raining

It rains almost everyday now ... ... Its the southwest moonsoon season which stretches from June to September ~ so i guess it will continue to pour almost everyday

^^ Cleared my Industrial Attachment with Grade A- !!! The grade helps to push up my overall GPA up but its still a long way to reach 2nd upper honours ... if i want to attain it , that would means scoring no lesser than A- for every modules which i will be taking in the final year which includes the final year project .

Seems pretty tough but its worth putting the effort ... paper qualification is like a passport to more places. It doesn't make you a better worker but it allow you to gain entry to some places which it would be impossible if you have none ...

If you ask me ... do i remember everything i learn ? I would tell you , i had forgotten most of them .

Currently working as Temp Staff at the previous company ... to earn some extra cash so i can enjoy the last month of holiday properly ^^

Everything is going well so far ^^ except that i need to make Mum shed some weight ...

And also i have another personal goal to achieve by August ! Get IPPT GOLD before my window closes next FEB ^^ get the remaining 200 bucks ... to get 9 min 44 sec for 2.4km run is quite challenging >.< the fastest i clock recently was 9 min 58 sec ... my lung almost burst ... but i will still be trying for it ^^ its a kind of personal achievement ...

Let the rain continue for as long as possible ...

Part 2

Cactus Valley !
Rose Valley !

BOH Tea Plantation

TomatoessssS !!!

Part of the tour group ... The one with pink long sleeve sweater and the orange stripped jacket aunties like to disturb me haha and they became my temporary "Grandma" . Saw the one in Blue-Yellow wind breaker ... that will be mother-soon-to-be-in-law

The trip quite fun with the Grandmasss ... haha . The views here are not too bad and the weather is pretty cooling ... no need aircon to sleep at night ... the ambient temperature is about 22°C ... cold enough ^^

Hee Hee ^^

Hello peeps i just return from Cameroon Highland ... Its a tour with Qianying family and her mums briskwalking club peeps ... The Grannies and Grand-daddies ... so here are some of the pictures !

Nightmarket

Honey Combs for sale anyone !!! I never buy it because i'm afriad it will be too sweet ...
Roast Chicky ... Never tried it ... haha

Not sure if you can find the pancake in Singapore ... Cost about 60 cents each ... Nice

Carrot Cake ...

The journey quite longgg sit for about 12 hours ? Of course there are breaks here and there plus lunch and dinner ^^

I know what is most important ...

After 24 years of trying to come up with the top 5 things i cannot give up and its a must have.... here they are

1.Family - Mother , Father , Sister , Future Wife , Future Kids , Relatives ...
2.Friends - Too many ...
3.Sleep - That is my fear ... if you all aren't away of ... sometimes i got days which i find it damm hard to fall asleep .... causing me so much anxiety which can drag for days or weeks ...
4.Someone to talk to - I hate being alone to be honest ... and if you put me in a working environment which theres no one to talk to ... i think i will quite within months .
5. ... ... ... ... empty ... ... ... ...

I think if i got those 4 stuff the rest would seem like small fry to me ... because this 4 are what is most important to me ... ever ...

IA is ending soon by the way ... but i will be continuing as parttime staff there and leave 1 mth of holiday to enjoy before school term starts again ... Well my final year i guess and i hope i won't feel so sad to graduate ... school is tough but yet its fun because of the people you see and laugh with everyday ...

Hope i don't tear too much ya ~ so its going to be the working society soon huh where people BS each other ... why ~ if its like school ... i think everyone would be very happy when working ... ^^

mm . . . .

I think every now and then there would be articles or something written on the day where the earth will get destroyed or humans become extinct ...~ Then after reading them you would start to wonder what you will do if it happens ... After a few days later you will soon forget about it and carry on with your daily life ... shopping , movies , working , gossips with friends ... ect. ect.

If you ask me ...

I would really love to live everyday to my fullest just so that i won't regret any moments later on in life but sometimes its just so difficult ... your boss starts to yell at you when you enter the office ; the train & buses gets so packed with "Ah Nehs" who doesn't give a sh*t when told to move inwards, indirectly causing you to be late then you get another earful of musics from your boss AGAIN ... ... The tranquility i had would soon disappear ~... End up i would waste my time complaing about this and that ... The morning traffic for public transport is really really cannot make it ... not sure about the roads since i don't have a car ...

Maybe just maybe i can make use of the time to say better things rather than complaining about things i cannot change ... just so that i can live my day to the fullest WITH only positive stuff .~ But i guess its not really possible ... since complaing is like part of human's nature ... seriously ! are there any one out there who doesn't complain ? Maybe ... I'm not sure about that ... but i sure complain a lot ...

Maybe i'm not a very positive kid to begin with so its hard for me to live my day with no regrets because i forget things pretty easily and read things pretty negatively ... ask Qianying and she will give you a big Yes~ Quite tough for me to remain on that " Live life as if today was your last or tomorrow is dooms day " track .

Probably once a while i try to remind myself i have to take things with stride and accept things that comes along ... squeezing with "Ah Nehs" is part of life and your boss was just having a bad day ...

But one thing i do keep in mind ... i won't live forever so certain things i have to let go therefore i can move on with life ... no point holding on to things that happend already or people's opinion of you, well because theres really nothing you can do about it ...

Don't confess when its too late ... how about confessing now ? Just do it ... ! Take this as a reminder from me for today ...

Have a great Sunday people~

Dine Dong~

Left 1 more month plus to the completion of IA !!! But hopefully i can remain there as temp staff until 1 month before school starts ... to earn some quick bucks for trips and stuff ...

Been running until the knee hurts ... and the leg become skinny -_- damm ugly ... maybe should eat more and put the weight back ... no injury no nothing ^^ but the thought of those sickness that comes with excess weight is a put off to me ....

Well can't run much anyway due to the rainy season in the evening especially ... so i guess have to do other form of activity ^^ ROPE skipping ^^

As for the 2nd gathering for the BPS peeps ... we see if everyone ... and i mean EVERY SINGLE ONE can really free up their time to attend ^^

Opps time to go for skipping ~ stay healthy & drink lots of water people the flu flu season is coming ...~ ...

Rainning More Frequently ...

Holy banana ... recently bought one blood pressure monitor for the folks at home ... cause they seldom monitor their BP status so i got to monitor it for them ... i can use that too ^^ but i got the cheapest model since i found the other functions really useless to me in my opinion . Unless i can afford the $60 000 BP meter which is the accurate one ... the normal ones has an error range of about +-5mmHG just that they have additional memory function and so called more accurate ... But oh well i guess this is good enough ^^

IA is going to be over in like 10 weeks time .... we're busy choosing our Major Electives which can be quite a pain the a*s since the class is limited to a certain number of people . In order to stick together as a team, the NTU folks had to think and plan what to take ... Will be graduating like real soon ... 1 year more ... i think i will miss the school life which i had been enjoying ... in particular the holidays ^^ working life seems to be so mundane and full of backstabbing and -_- evil ars*hole who will try to devour you if you're not careful ... Luckily none dare to get close to me so i'm more like neutral to everyone ... in fact i wouldn't want to be involve in any shi*s ... at the end of the day my life span is limited ... getting myself so troubled working isn't just worth it ... sometimes i cannot figure out why the hell people like to scr*w each other up so much ... do they gain satisfaction ? If that is the reason i think the better go for some thrills ride or something ... isn't that better ?

As for me ... i just want to return home ... get out to run for like 20-30 mins ... have dinner ... enjoy my time with the family ... what else ? the rest doesn't matter really ~